Not long ago, my partner and I had a discussion, which went roughly like this.
Me: Our solar system is on its last legs (Note – I don’t mean that solar system that surrounds earth like a starry womb, holding us close in its galactic embrace. I mean the solar panels that supply all – and I mean ALL – the energy at our home.)
Him: Oh well. No need to panic.
Me: Yes there is! If we don’t have power, we don’t have the internet, and I NEED the internet. I will literally die without the internet!
Him: Really? Literally?
Me: Creatively speaking. I need the internet to write my novels and, more importantly, to market them. Without the internet, I, the author, am nothing! I can’t work.
Him: Didn’t someone write to Bill Gates once asking for money for a computer – he said he couldn’t write great novels without one. And Bill Gates wrote back saying Jane Austen didn’t even have a typewriter – so no.
Me: That was then. This is now. No publisher accepts typewritten manuscripts – they have to be emailed. You can’t upload a sheaf of papers to Amazon. You can’t advertise your e-book to the world in the local paper (not that it’s interested in my e-book anyway, I tried).
Him: I spent twenty years living in a shearing shed on 200 acres with only a rusty bucket and a pedal powered VCR. What YOU are, is a princess!
Obviously, I will get my way, because I always do. No poo-powered satellite connections for me, thank you very much.
How about you. Like me, will you (virtually) die without the internet – or can you not be arsed, really?