Why doesn’t anyone like me, mummy?

I realised as I was strolling to work one day, enjoying the sun, that I am the kind of pain in the arse who really thinks everyone should be like me.  For instance, ‘the girls’ at the office went for lunch this week, and very kindly invited me.  At lunch, one of these women (a very sweet girl) complained about being hungover from the weekend.

Having my standard Lecture on the Demon Drink right on the tip of my tongue, I bit my lip (what’s the use of biting your lip if something’s on your tongue..) – but then I opened my mouth and a gobbet of it spilled right out, much to everybody’s embarrassment, like so:

Me: So, WHY did you get drunk?

Her: well, you know, when I go out I like to have a few glasses.  But I was taking painkillers as well and they just didn’t go together.

Me: But, if you were taking painkillers, couldn’t you just have drunk, like, half a glass or so? Or juice?

Her: No, I like to drink.  It’s relaxing.

Me: Oh well, yeah I guess, I know what you mean (no I don’t)….I don’t understand why anybody drinks alcohol.  Couldn’t you just take a deep breath or something? It’s so pointless!

The Girls (all together): No it’s not!!!

Well that was a stupid pain in the arse thing to say.  And yet…and yet…how come you can say to your workmates in a casual setting, ‘oh yeah, I got drunk and had a hangover last weekend’, and not (at least outside North Sydney or certain other metropolitan hotspots) ‘oh yeah, I snorted cocaine/smoked pot/took a few pills and now I’m having a bit of a downer..’.

I mean, they’re the same thing.  DRUGS.  Things you take so instead of feeling however it is you feel, the drug decides how you feel.   Shy?  Unsociable? Depressed? Have a glass of whatever and you’ll be relaxed and happy!  Or at least, whoever you are when you’re under the influence, will be.

Am now looking for a chapter of the Salvation Army Temperance Marchers to join, in search of like spirits (no, no, not spirits, I mean souls!!).



  1. Ah, the terrors of the demon drink… Glad to see that obviously nothing like that ever touches your lips… But the occasional social glass, shared with a friend. Surely that’s okay, just every once and a while?

    Capt. Savage
    (not into total abstinence and will try almost anything once, as long as it’s not illegal)

  2. It’s always so tempting to say, DUH, wtf. Don’t get drunk EQUALS DON’T HAVE HANGOVER. Hey … speak your mind, save your tongue xoxoxo meliss

  3. it was really interesting to read this. it doesn’t bother me but i do sometimes feel such an anomaly because i’m an 18 year old who has never been drunk. good to know i’m not alone in this!

    1. Thanks,it’s nice to know I’m not alone either. I know other people do like to get drunk but I’ve never really got why – I enjoy life and socialising just fine without. When I was 18 I had to MAKE myself drink beer, it tasted awful but I thought I had to, just to fit in!

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