Being beautiful is such a DRAG!

Reading someone’s very poignant blog about not feeling ‘beautiful’ (and I can SO relate to that) made me think – why the hell are people are so keen to be beautiful anyhow.  There are just so many OTHER things you can be – intelligent, witty, fun, insightful, sympathetic or just damn good at fixing car engines – why should we care if we’re not goodlooking?  Who gives a stuff!

And yet, most of us (especially chicks) do.  We all want at least someone (other than mum) to say ‘you’re beautiful’ with that genuine quiver of the lip that says they really mean it and are not just bullshitting to get you into a warm dark place.

Maybe the answer is that beauty is power, especially for a woman.  If you don’t have it, and have ever had someone (male) walk away while you’re talking to them, or fawn over the more beauteous person you happen to be with, offering to service their car for free, buy them fancy dinners and give them a job with a view – well, you know what that power consists of.

And even if you are the most fascinating, funny, brilliant and angelic person in your street (which I am – well, at No 7 anyway) , none of that will give you the power to make people adore you and want to do extravagant things for you.  A nice nose and some eyelash-curlers,  might.  No wonder the great rush to get the plastic fantastic.

Just think what I could achieve if I was fascinating AND hot!

On the other hand – and as a less well-favoured though not totally un-gorgeous person I feel the need to smugly point this out to myself – power never really did bring happiness, and beauty like any other kind of power is as much a trap as it is a gift.  I mean, is Britney Spears famous for being happy? Marilyn Monroe? Grace Kelly?  Nah – they just make slightly prettier corpses (or, train wrecks, as the case may be).

Is there anyone out there who’s ugly and likes it?



  1. Dear ButImBeautiful,

    Yep, I’m as ugly as a hat full of, well you know the rest… Actually I don’t think I am, but I no longer care (too much)… Because I am content with who I am, now does that sound too much like bullshit? Of course I get pissed off with other better looking guys, just like I imagine it’s easy for gals to do, when they get all the attention.

    But I also know plenty of not so good looking (in a classical sense) guys and gals who manage to attract plenty of attention by using wit, intelligence, charm, flattery, dress sense, money and a great conversation. These are what I find more attractive in the longer term, that’s once you get over the initial ‘oh my god look at that’ reaction.

    Yes a good set of boobs, ‘beautiful’ faces, long legs, and a cute arse get the initial attention, but after that who really wants to date Barbie!!! Give me a girl with a brain and who’s company I enjoy anytime.

    Capt. Savage
    (The thinking woman’s trained killer)

    1. Yeah,someone was telling me all these great sayings for people who aren’t pusillanimous, I wish I could remember them, they were pretty funny. Anyway, who cares if you’re handsome (not saying you’re not, mind) – give me a quick wit any day.

  2. well, i’ve always felt ugly … i’m getting wrinkly … always had boys and men walk right by me for my always prettier girl friends. So i’m a wart i suppose. not sure i’m thrilled to be a bit of a nudge, BUT … i LOVE you for writing this. Damn funny, and Damn straight. I got the inner stuff goin’ on baby!

    FUNNY STUFF! Why do women have to freakin’ worry about their hair, their face, their bodies?

    Speaking as a woman who’s spent a chunk of my life hiding with bulimia, i don’t know how i feel about “beauty”. What’s so beautiful about chucking food? Or hiding ? Not sharing MY wonderfulness!!!

    Body beautiful, BITE ME! I want to be me … i gotta be me … lal lalalala.

    Yes, feeling nutty today. A wee bit too much Cab Sav for the Valentine’s Day celebration.

    1. Thanks for that comment. It’s not easy admitting that you look in the mirror and you don’t particularly like what you see (change your mirror!). I’m getting wrinkly too and I never was beautiful, just lucky though never to have had an eating disorder. With all this constant crap about beauty, it’s no wonder people DO develop things like bulimia and anorexia and cosmetic surgery addiction and all the rest. There’s a woman i work with who insists on wearing super-high heels ‘because they look good’ – with a BROKEN TOE! Anyway, we struggle on! Keep up the Cab Sav!

      1. … “what a drag it is getting old” … Rolling Stones got that right, and it ain’t about beauty baby. More Chardonnay?

  3. Time marches across the face, so a smart gal will make herself known for something else; something that improves with age such as wisdom, a sense of humor, really good baking skills, etc.! Although lovely in a traditional sense, what I found most beautiful about my grandmother was her sarcastic and quick wit, something that stayed with her until the end. So in other words, she was beautiful forever 🙂

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