Democracy’s broke. Here’s how to fix it…

Dave’s the guy we all want for President. He’s a down to earth, ordinary guy who wouldn’t know a power play if it swept him into its strong, muscular arms and kissed him. He gets things done.

But in real life, Dave has zero chance of getting anywhere near politics. Instead, we have Trump, and Australia’s answer to Voldemort, Peter Dutton.

That’s because to get anywhere in the Big House, you need to be a power-hungry piece of shit, generally speaking. So here’s what we should do.

Instead of setting up a cut-throat competition where only the brazen narcissist survives (otherwise known as an election) and then expecting said brazen narcissist to give a fuck about the rest of us, we should set aside at least half the seats in Parliament (or Congress or whatever you call it) for random nobodies.

Yep, random nobodies. Who would never ordinarily get within whispering-sweet-nothings distance of a decision on tax policy, or about how to spend government money, or how to help the homeless. Of course, the average random nobody knows zilch about governing a nation – what, you think these morons who currently sit in the red and green chairs do?

And how would we pick these randoms? By lot – that is, randomly, of course. Worked in the birthplace of democracy, ancient Athens – why not here? We pick juries out of a hat, and let them decide whether to electrocute people. So why not pick our government the same way?

It’s a thought. What do you think?

Oh, and you have only 6 days to ENTER TO WIN a free paperback copy of Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman, Oh and That’s Another Thing by Fallacious Rose, and other great reads.


  1. 20 years ago I would have said this is ridiculous. Hell, 5 years ago I would have said the same thing. These days? I’m willing to throw out all preconceived notions of what is rational and try something different. The political system is breaking down and our only choices are Corrupt and More Corrupt. I’m very close to being done with the whole thing.

  2. Your system would certainly guarantee a more egalitarian democracy – let’s do it! The poor shmuck who just crawled out of the gutter is likely to truly care about what all the rest of us poor shmucks have to put up with every day. Give the poor shmuck a chair in Congress!

  3. For starters, the swamp must be drained, totally. If you are going to rebuild, a two party system is designed not to work, that is except for the few at the top and yes, scum always rises to the top and since the have no conscience, by walking over everyone that stands between them and their fixation. TWO PARTY SYSTEMS DO NOT WORK!
    When all candidates are coming from the same barrel, one might do well to investigate the contents of the barrel long before selecting from it. Additionally, you need a SECURE way to tabulate any results, you haven’t. It also requires a population that would get out and vote, historically, that isn’t what happens. A democracy requires a conscience, look around you.

    1. A system based on random selection doesn’t require voting but it does require a secure and trustworthy selection mechanism. Completely agree that an adversarial two party system doesn’t work but neither does a government based on constantly shifting alliances.. it’s not simple, that’s for sure.

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