It’s coming up to about two months since I washed my hair. That is, with the conventional stuff, you know, shampoo, conditioner, things you buy at the shops. Ms M and I both decided to ditch the bottles in favour of Seeing What Happens If. Since we started the big experiment, we’ve washed our hair with –
- Baking soda. Cheap, easy to make (you just put a spoonfu in water), and gets the oil out. Other than that, thumbs down.
- Green tea and sage leaves soaked in hot water. Sounds good but it feels like you went swimming in a swamp. Thumbs down.
- Apple cider vinegar in water. Makes your scalp dry and does not result in lustrosity of any kind. Thumbs down.
- Stale beer and eggs. My Thai massage lady suggested this (Ms M thought she was playing a joke on me). Works on her (long black shiny hair) but not on me (smells like scrambled eggs and the pub).
- Stale beer by itself! Well, River God likes to leave the fag end of the beer in the bottle, on the grounds that it’s too ‘yeasty’ to drink. So why not avoid waste and tip it on your head! Not bad – the pub smell only lasts half a day – but again, hair still lacking in lustrosity. Mind you, I think it had a slight blonding effect (maybe cause it’s pale ale).
- Honey and water (shook up in a jar). Apparently it has to be ‘natural’ honey and ‘distilled’ water, but what the hell, I used tap water, what’s the diff! Ms M did it and her hair looks nice enough, as usual, but I have yet to see head-tossingly glamorous results a la ‘You’re Worth It’.
- Honey and a few drops of sage oil. Now it’s just getting silly! Cream and eggs, anyone?
And the upside of all this? BEFORE, I was worried about my hair thinning. I even tried pills (until my beard started growing). But AFTER? I’m pretty sure it’s thicker. Maybe it’s all the goop. THEY keep saying hair dyes and shampoos make no difference to female baldness but I remember when my eldest sister let her hair go grey (ie stopped dyeing it), that comb-over look went within a month. So there.
What is the dumbest thing you’ve put in your hair – and has anything made you look remotely like Salma Hayek?