When you’re trying to be happy but shit happens…
Today I was happy, because River God was in a good mood. He was huggable, he was kissable, he was talkative. He’d had a good time bicycling around the lake in the rain, got sopping wet, and that brightened his hippy heart. So he came around full of cheer and romance, and because I’m a bit of a litmus paper, I soaked it all up and was happy too.
Yesterday, things were different. I was at River God’s country residence, it was stinking hot, and we had a disagreement about the correct way to fill buckets with used bathwater. It was too hot to cuddle, it was almost too hot to be near each other, it was definitely too hot to consider intimate relations. River God was cross because in the middle of the night I crept out to my car with an old duvet and slept in the back of it, in the cool. “You shouldn’t have come then!” he mumbled (as one does in the small hours), meaning “I feel bad about you being uncomfortable but worse now you’ve done something about it’.
I’m one of those people who is fine as long as the people I care about are busy cherishing me. I wilt under criticism, coolness and being temporarily ignored. So the trick for me is to hold the memory of today (cherished, adored) against the memory of yesterday (grumped upon) until the sun shines again. I know there’ll be lots of sunny days and plenty of thundery ones too. So cheer up, me, and think of the good times.
Oh, and this is the country estate (roundabouts). You may think it looks nice, all blue and everything. But trust me, it’s much better when it’s all grey and misty, because that’s when River God’s trees grow. This is what the morning of a stinker looks like.