What if I was a zombie?
What if I liked brains?
Why do zombies like brains? Do they like some brains better than other brains? My brain for instance, to a zombie it probably smells like a fine rich stew, full of mushy peas and tender toothsome chicken pieces and lentils swimming around in gravy, nourishing and delectable. Your brain, well that’s probably more like a plate of cheese and crackers.
Whaddya mean by that, you say, in an irritated way. Are you implying that my brain is a mere snack, junk food? while your brain – your precious MIND as you call it – is some kind of gourmet treat?
Well I say, trying to be reasonable – when you think about it, if you were a zombie and you wanted to take your zombie girlfriend out for an expensive meal, wouldn’t you be just a little picky? I mean, say that person over there (pointing to random blog reader, yes you). To a zombie, I bet their brain looks like a great big sloppy hamburger, with orange plastic cheese and mad-cow mince pattie and a piece of token lettuce covered in stale mustard. Would YOU eat something like that?
Whereas my brain – my MIND, as I like to call it – is flavorsome and mysterious. Who knows what subtle herbs, what fine wines, what rare and precious condiments, have been added by the goddess as she labours long over her hotpot in the kitchen of Life? As she sniffs the delicious fragrance rising gently from the healthful broth that is to be….
What if I AM a zombie? You’re getting me all excited! Did I ever tell you I’ve got a thing for brains?
Oh shit. Perhaps I should have said it tasted like day-old dog food in there.
Too late now!
With thanks to Kellie Elmore’s Free Write Friday xx.