The Care and Management of Your Pet Sphinx

Should I get a Sphinx, you ask yourself?

Perhaps you noticed one sitting quietly in a pet shop window, gazing inscrutably out upon the world, and thought, I could see one of those sitting behind MY picture windows.  Perhaps you’re intrigued by the long history and legendary past of this interesting and unique animal.

Yes, owning a Sphinx can be rewarding, although not, sadly, in financial terms.  But, as with all pets, ownership comes with responsibilities, and this is why I have posted this hopefully informative article.  What Clowie is for Pyrenean Mountain Dogs, Rumpy is for rescue moggies, and Ginger Fightback is for redheads, I hope this post will provide the discerning would-be Sphinx owner.

Now there are three kinds of Sphinx.  The first, most familiar kind, is the Wild Ancient Egyptian Sphinx, which inhabits the temples, deserts and pyramids of the Middle East.  It’s commonly male, with the face of a cross-dressing airline steward and the body of a lion.  The second, less familiar, is the Wild Ancient Greek Sphinx.  Unlike the Egyptian sphinx, it eats people and flies around.  As you’d expect from this description, it’s female.  The third kind, familiar in petshops across Australia, is the Common Domestic Sphinx.  Here is a picture.

sphinx

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The first thing you will need when purchasing a Common Domestic Sphinx is a really big litter tray.  You think your fluffy Siamese drops some big ones – well, the Sphinx is part lion and she/he poops like one.  Be warned.

To spay or not to spay?  Your Sphinx may look inscrutable but that calm, benevolent gaze hides the sex drive of a wildebeest and the indiscriminate lustiness of a southern Bible Belt preacher.  As a hybrid creature, neither quite male nor quite female, quite lion or quite lady, the Sphinx sees anything as a potential mate.  Unless you want your neighbour’s bison friche (or your neighbour) ravished by a sandy beast ten times its size, have your Sphinx altered.

The Sphinx looks ineffably wise.  It is in fact really, really stupid – like many people who sit around a lot looking ineffable.  Like a woman, it is almost impossible to train, and like a cat, it will always get under your feet in the kitchen (or is it the other way around).  Never mind, a bright-coloured plaything or two will keep it well occupied and out of harm’s way (see my related articles on Women, Cats).

Finally, remember that your Sphinx may spend most of its time sitting like a carved stone statue on your gatepost or that small replica temple you erected in your suburban front yard – but there is still a part of every Sphinx that will never be completely tame and reliable.  If your Sphinx should show a tendency to chew up the postman, you can often distract it with a simple and timeless riddle.  Something like this:

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

What is the true meaning of existence?

OR

What has Kim Kardashian got in her pocketses? (answer, a Ring of Power which makes you constantly, horribly visible)

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26 comments

  1. Testimonial
    I wish I’d had this weeks ago! We thought we were getting an Egpytian Desert Sphinx, but the pet shop gave us the domestic one instead. Well, let me tell you, three weeks later, the kids are terrified of ll sounds, the dog won’t come out of the chandelier, and the post office is refusing to deliver mail.
    the only gright side is that my mother in law refuses to visit.

    I wish I’d had this guide before I made this terrible mistake.

  2. Indeed. Although i have heard that some communities of a..how shall I put it…marginal and risque nature keep their sphinxes unspayed, for what purpose I am unable to say here. Perhaps this was the original origin of the lion/human cross.

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