Normally you’d have to pay HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS for this kind of advice.
But I’m giving it to you for free. Yes, in this post I will answer once for all the burning question – how do I get women to sleep with me??
Trailer Trash Deluxe – who obviously I would date in a moment if only he lived in Australia – complains in his seminal post I Trust You’re Happy with Yourselves!!! that even for a well-set up man of means such as himself, it’s very difficult to get women to put out.
What’s the secret?
- Inside (almost) every woman is a sand goby, looking for a male with enough resources to see her eggs to adulthood. Luckily, she can often be satisfied with POTENTIAL resources. Like, if you are ABOUT to write the next great novel, sometime.
- (Most) women like to talk. Problem is, so do most men, louder, harder, longer. Practice the art of acting fascinated (better yet, of BEING fascinated). Only 10% or less of men have mastered this art, so you’ll be way out in front.
- Everybody likes things that other people want. BE one of those things. If you’re not, pretend (you’ll notice this word comes up often). I remember when some deadbeat boyfriend of mine said he was planning (one day) to become a DJ. Instant images of him wowing a crowd of hand-waving cool people, and ME his chosen one, beaming smugly up by the mixer. Done deal.
- Some people say women aren’t shallow. Don’t believe them. Drape that paunch. Get rid of the dandruff. Yellow is a beautiful and cheerful colour but not on teeth.
- (Many) women are credulous (see ‘pretend’). Personally I’m incredibly credulous. I can be had (almost) for an admiring whistle and a couple of well-aimed compliments ‘you’re so beautiful’, ‘you’re the most intelligent woman I’ve ever met’, ‘your writing is ineffably moving!’.
- Women fall in love with whingers, but only after the main course. If you’re not happy, PRETEND you are (or at least reasonably stable) for a few weeks at least. Then you can introduce her to the real you – otherwise known as ‘depths’. Whatever you do, don’t start off on the pointlessness of life and the unimaginable stinkiness of your ex, work, or life (leave that for later, when your tears will make her want to kiss it better rather than invent reasons to be somewhere else).
Trailer Trash of course already KNOWS all these things – I would never teach him to suck eggs (I mean solicit them). I realise people are hugely variable, and can’t be stereotyped. But his post made me think about what it is that men can do to entice the opposite sex.
As a man, how do YOU entice and delight? As a woman, how do YOU sort the duds from the dudes?