The Karmic Challenge: Week 34, Dusky Bosoms

THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage).  A woman (Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice.  And then to lose them all in the following year (preferably doing something involving foul sensuality, see below, and perhaps a Mohammedan menace, as long as he comes with his own plane).

So, well, I’ve been home schooling Ms M in the last three weeks, seeing as she’s had enough of going to school and I’ve had enough of making her go there.  Instead, we’ve been studying the Crusades.

One of the upsides of this is the sonorous and hopelessly politically incorrect prose of 19th century historian James Ludlow.  In the old days, he says, before both sides came to an appreciation of what was due to their respective religions, Moslems and Christians used to intermarry, and:

“..often the Christian dignitary..was led by gold and political advantage to assent that his daughter should run from her guardage to the sooty bosom of the Moor.”

Where I bet she had a pretty good time, enjoying “the foul sensuality allowed by the Koran.”  No wonder Islam’s the world’s fastest growing religion.

Who says school can’t be fun?


Anyway, proof that the universe is watching over me came today in the mall, when I was able to help an old lady with weak arms haul her trolley down the out-of-service moving ramp thingummy. I know it had something to do with the divine as the ramp always stops working on Sundays, and this is the third time I’ve had to help somebody get their trolley down it. God just KNOWS when I run out of good deeds.  Thank you, Lord (or Buddha, as the case may be).  Five points, I think.

Btw – if God asked you to revamp heaven to your own taste,  what would you put in it (apart from dead relatives and friends, obviously)?  Would you have large breasted maidens and fountains of chardonnay? Or lots and lots of good books?  Or something else entirely?


  1. My idea of heaven would be friends, family, dogs, cats, pet rats and lots of sex, wine and sci-fi. Of course, all of my celebrity crushes would be there too and I’d get to sleep with all of them whenever I wanted to.

    Also, Jelly Babies. There can be no heaven without battered fedoras, long stripey scarves and Jelly Babies 🙂

    1. Really? Well ok, I’ll respond to that truthfully. I can see why. Life is sometimes (always for some) a struggle, and it’s a struggle without a purpose. Some of us are given life but find we don’t enjoy it. Death seems like a welcome rest from all the hassle and pain – even to me at times, as a non-depressive. But then, there are those moments of joy – if you’re lucky more than moments – that make it worthwhile (kids, lovers, funny stuff) – and then one’s responsibility for the lives of others – parents, kids, pets, siblings – make it imperative to stick around. A lot depends on mood – personally I like to look to the future and think ‘wow, I’m really going to enjoy that!’ and that’s like a sort of treat held out in front of my nose, that makes me put one foot in front of the other.


    1. You could include a copy of the Crusades..that’s one strange history book! In heaven, you wouldn’t have to have cds, you’d just think of the music you wanted and bam!


  2. I AM tempted to get all sportified on you, just for the coedic effect, but – really? Somewhere weher you get the sense that winter is over, and it will be Spring very shortly. Where there’s enough coffee, time, and inspiration to live tha way I want to forever..adn the opportunity to change my mind.

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