The Karmic Challenge, Week 22: Rose has a lovely personality, apparently!

Oh yeah, alRIGHT!

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THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage).  A woman (Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice.  On second thoughts, no – make that something PRETTY!

Four months to Christmas…and I’m nearly at the Holy Grail of 500 points (466!).  This mostly because Captain Savage has loaded me up with points I don’t deserve, so, well, maybe now is the time to tell him to take some off.  Did you know, CS, that I once said to a woman with 7 kids (ring any bells?) whose husband had just left her for another woman, ‘So, you actually mind, then? That’s strange, I only wish my husband would run off with another woman!‘  MINUS a million points (but it was when I lived on the dark side).  ‘Yes no doubt’, said she ‘but I WANTED mine.’ Well said.  Go and stick your head down a toilet, Rose.

Elderly Mr L is just back from hospital, where he went because he had a heart attack.  Apparently buoyed by thoughts of unexpected longevity, he told me today that I should probably cut my hair.

Why’s that?

(Slightly awkward pause, Mr L looks shifty) Oh well, I just thought..short hair might suit your features better.

But I LIKE my long hair!

Yes…well, you just do as you like, dearie.  You know…you’re a very NICE girl.

Ok, I can take a hint. Mr L’s trying to say he thinks I’m good but plain.  Later – perhaps to make up for the insult – he asks for a peck on the cheek.

Absolutely not!

(no not really, of course I did. If only just to give the guy another heart attack)

In other news, my paperwork for my application to become a Barnardos Kids Friend has finally been approved (yes, Interpol and the Afghan Police Department have both said I’m in the clear).  AND I pulled this woman’s trolley down a dead escalator.  Yes, I ran her over in the process and spilled all her groceries, bought with her last $50 from selling her own teeth in the marketplace, but whatever, I meant well! (no, that was a lie. Not all of it. Which bits, you can decide).

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8 Comments

      1. I like you best when you drop that whole do-gooder facade and let your evil, snarky, inner bitch loose 🙂

  1. Hm. Everything was going well until you REVEALED (most likely not aware of doing so)
    “. . .pulled this woman’s trolley down a dead escalator. Yes, I ran her over in the process and spilled all her groceries, bought with her last $50 from selling her own teeth in the marketplace,”

    Shame, shame. Something doesn’t add up here. I KNOW YOU are not that person….right?

    1. Well I never said I was a saint! I forgot to say I took her wallet too (shame it had nothing in it). No, not really. I did pull a little girl’s trolley down the escalator, which wasn’t moving – they’re designed so trolleys don’t slip on them but when you have to pull a trolley down a non-moving escalator, it’s very hard.  But..I was just joking. That said, as detailed in the opening paragraph, I am (not deliberately) awful sometimes.

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