Hello Mrs Smith! How are we today! Aren’t you LUCKY to be alive at 102!!
No, I’m not! I’ve been wanting to get off this bus since I was 87.
But what about your children, your grandchildren? They all love you! THEY wouldn’t want you to be dead!
Oh yeah? Well how about THEY have the arthritis/emphysema/cancer/strokes/amputations/weeping sores/urinary tract infections, and then ask them how they feel!
Ah, what you need is modern pain management. Nowadays nobody need be in chronic discomfort, no matter what their age.
Right. I guess I could be zonked out on morphine instead. That’d be fun. Wonder why the drugs prescribed for old people are only ever the ones you don’t enjoy taking?
The thing is, what you need to realise, Mrs Smith, is that life is a precious gift. Life is a sacred and wonderful thing, and only God can take it away.
Voice-over man, very fast. This offer applies only to human animals, in rich countries, who have not incurred the death penalty or equivalent. Please read the fine print for full terms and conditions.
So you’re saying someone gave me this gift, which I didn’t ask for and don’t now want, and there’s this rule that I have to keep it no matter what until whoever gave it to me turns up and takes it away again?
And who says life is sacred? Mate, look around you. Every second, a million creatures die. Hundreds or maybe thousands of them are human creatures. They die, and life goes on. Life isn’t sacred. It’s nice to have. That’s it.
(Sadly) Mrs Smith, perhaps I can’t persuade you of the value of your life – but I can say that as a medical practitioner, I’m bound to keep you alive as long as medically possible. Which these days can be long after you’re technically dead. And as you know, the law forbids you to take your own life and anyone else to help you do it – or tell you how.
How about if I google it? Just because I’m 102 doesn’t mean I can’t work the internet, you know, young man.
You won’t be able to. It’s censored information. It’s not allowed to be on the internet.
You mean to say, I can find out how to make a bomb on the internet. I can watch people being raped and tortured and killed on the internet. I can look at kiddie porn – but suicide is censored?
Certainly. We don’t want to give people information which may encourage them to do away with themselves.
I see. SO hang on – WHOSE life is it, again????