And down we go…

When you’re really really up there’s no place to go but, well..just a little bit down.

Especially after reading the actual book of (Lionel Shriver’s) We Need to Talk About Kevin. I can stand the kid taking out half his highschool class.  I don’t like his latte-snob mum or moronically optimistic dad but, you know, takes all sorts. The whole evil child conundrum has got me staying awake nights. But what REALLY gets me is the death of the sweet little kid sister and her exotic guinea-piggy thing.  If they’d survived, I think I could have handled everything else.  I’m just not equipped to deal with real life, especially in fiction.  I DEMAND a happy ending!

How about we re-write some of these depressing stories (kind of like Pride and Prejudice and Vampires – say, Romeo and Juliet and their Golden Wedding Anniversary Photos).  So we can all REALLY look forward to:

  • Les Miserables Cheer Up (Fantine marries the law student and keeps the baby and her teeth)
  • Jude the Obscure and the Time Machine (in which he and the family travel to the 21st century where no one cares about cohabitation)
  • The English Patient and the Art of Helicopter Maintenance (he fixes the plane, loads up the girlfriend, and heads off to Mexico to sit out the war)

Any other suggestions for improving the fictional world?? Or am I missing the point.

Talking of which – the following is the equivalent of a guy sitting outside the supermarket with a ‘Will Work for Food?’ sign.






Only MY sign says

(throwaway remarks will also be accepted gracefully)

So here’s the offer. Like many of you, I’m writing the Great 21st Century Novel.  I could really use some feedback on my stuff – but don’t dare ask anyone who knows where I live.  In return, I can offer to provide feedback on YOUR Great 21st Century Novel (and I can also offer some editing and proofreading, which just happens to be stuff I do for ‘real’ work).

So if anyone’s interested in a Draft-Swap, write to me at and maybe we can work something out!


  1. I suppose Sydney Carton might enjoy a rewrite of the ending of “A Tale of Two Cities,” but then I suppose it just wouldn’t carry the same wallop, would it? 🙂

    1. No, Oedipus would never be the same either. But I sort of go to live in stories when I read them, and at the end of them I’m still partly living in that world – so if the ‘world’ is a tragic one, I feel all miserable and depressed. Which I don’t like – especially on account of something that isn’t real – so I generally avoid tragedies. On the other hand, my son kind of likes them, since he doesn’t get attached to ‘heroic’ characters and on balance he’s usually glad they kick the bucket.

  2. Great post and now I know someone who can write a Hollywood happy ending for my at some point to be on paper book. I am perpetually morose in my writing so could do with some assistance 🙂

    1. I would LOVE to provide a happy ending for your book. Happy to help in any way (but morosity isn’t necessarily a bad thing, even though I personally don’t like it, it can be very popular).

  3. I’m reminded of a group of girls I taught years ago, who were raving about the newly released mega-blockbuster, Titanic. “You’ve got to see it!” they enthused. “Why would I? I already know how it ends.” “So, Ms. M.,” one of the girls ventured, “why are you making us read Romeo and Juliet?”

    1. Yep, good point! I guess ‘how it ends’ isn’t quite the point. These things are supposed to illuminate an aspect of life and suffering is part of life. Still, I like to avoid it if possible, even in fiction.

  4. We’ve Got to Talk about Kevin riled me up on many levels. You’re right his father was useless and his mother more so. Someone should have put their foot down when he refused to be ‘trained’ going potty. Even at the end, his mother was a disappointment. Maybe a drag of a story but it’s the process that I find interesting (like your last comment)– this happened and then because of or inspite of, this happened.

    Fabulous post, Rose.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s