You gotta say that with a thick Northumbrian accent, ok?
That’s enough about them, now let’s get back to ME. I asked my dear blog-friend Mel if she’d draw one of her pictures for me One Day….and one day came, and lo, it was Now, and it was Me.
I have to admit having my picture drawn EVEN by Mel was a bit confronting for me because part of me thinks I’m as ugly as I am clever, and any actual representation of my face is therefore very scary (or not, as the case may be). But the best thing in these cases is just to open your arms wide and accept yourself exactly as you are (works for resisting tickles, also). So THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU dear Mel and I will treasure this drawing ALWAYS.
And in return, here is a story for Mel and all those others out there who fight the good fight against the Drones of Vogue! Go screw yourself, Cosmo!
RETURN OF THE STAR WARRIOR, by Rose
The Sky Guard walked towards her, legs impossibly long – literally – in sky high heels and silk stockings. The Vogue badge on her outsized chest threw the light back from the strobe in the guard tower. The beam caught her full in the face, picked out hard-angled cheekbones and lips like a puffer fish, then moved on.
Was she an android, the Star Warrior wondered, or a human, built to look like one? And more to the point, how did she fit all the regular organs in, with that height to weight ratio. She waited, hand on hip.
Melissa raised a rhinestone-covered hand.
“Babe, I’m unarmed. You don’t need to be afraid of little ole’ me!”
The guard drew her nuclear-powered sabre. Over-armed as well as over-dressed, thought Mel. But we’ll see who wins this little catfight!
Now my friend Sharmishtha is another sort of warrior. Every Thursday SHE posts a list of blogs that aim to change the world just a little bit for the better. Sharmishtha the Peace Warrior wants to know, how would YOU change the world if you could? WELL????????
APART from throwing stupid people off cliffs? (no sorry, that was my friend Violent Violet, shutup Violet)
- I’d scrap traditional education and replace it with a curriculum completely focused on kindness, empathy, tolerance and a big dollop of critical thinking.
- I’d institute universal free child care and preschool ? Why? So people who don’t love their kids can give them to other people to love, at least in the daytime. Which leads me to…
- My other idea – huge taxes on people who do things with paper money which I can’t understand, to be used to give even huger pay increases to (good) teachers, nursing home staff and child care workers.
- Whopping penalties for people who are cruel to animals or children or, well, anyone – involving hard labour planting up our cities with vegies and flowers and re-painting everything in rainbow colours.
- Knighthoods and Australia Day honours to be ripped from Rupert Murdoch and any other rich creepy person and re-allocated to those people who rescue kids from burning buildings and the Cat Lady.
- All workplaces to allow people to bring their pets, children and old mothers to work. Any time this takes from actual ‘work’, will be withdrawn from ‘meeting’ time.
- Summer street parties with chocolate and dancing and Stevie Wonder and lots of old people and kids and EVERYBODY. These to be organised by Registered Extroverts. That’ll teach the bastards.
Any other ideas?
And finally i want to say hello to:
White Lady in the Hood. I went in a hood once. I was scared. But White Lady isn’t. She lives in her Hood, teaches little kids and she’s one of the funniest nicest real-est warmest people in the blogosphere.
365 Days of Goodness, who’s involved in ‘Project Goodness’. The focus of her most recent post is teaching kids to get involved in helping people out. If all ‘helping’ projects involved cute kittens, I think I could get Ms M on board.
The Truth Warrior. With every dash of peace and love and universal harmony there’s gotta be a dollop of ‘get real – I effin HATE people, I wanna throw them all off cliffs!’. Violet, I already TOLD you to get OFF this blog!!! The Truth Warrior says it’s ok to feel what you feel. Emotions aren’t good, they aren’t bad, they just are. Couldn’t agree more…