The Karma Challenge – Week 7

A Day in the Life Of…

It’s Karma Day! Are YOU feeling karmic, Rose?

I don’t know. What if I don’t pick up another job. They’re sacking people right left and centre here, mostly left though.  At least I’ve got my novel.  If I can finish it.  3000 words a day.  But it’s boring.  Even I’m bored.  Let’s look at my emails.  Oh god nobody’ll ever date me again…it’s been years since any man’s shown an interest in me…let me see, exactly ten weeks!  Oh, that’s not so long then.  It FEELS like a long time.  I’ve never gone a whole ten weeks without a man since I was, what, 18?.  What’s the longest anybody’s ever gone without sex?

Well thanks for that insight, Rose.  And how about your weekly Good Deeds?

No that’s boring. How about a new kind of car horn? Me and Ms M think it would be a great idea to invent one that goes ‘Titties’ (that’s her) or ‘Look behind youuuuu!’ instead of BIMP.  What do you think car horns should say?

That’s not the point. Karma!!!

Ok karma. Well I bought a teeshirt today.  It says Free Hugs. I’m going to wear it with a big scowl, just in case anyone thinks I really mean it.

Really?

No not really. Just my characteristic dopey expression, that should get the punters in.  ALSO, I brought offerings to the Cat Goddess.  Only the cats were a bit nervous – well I would be too – because I smelled like dog and fertiliser.

Why?

Because 2 of my puppies went to the Dog Perfume shop by themselves and came back with Eau de Shit.  I washed them – but Eau de Shit is pretty damn clingy.

So PHYSICALLY you smell like dog shit, I mean shitty dog – but how about your eternal soul?

Sorry.  Well, I made quiche for my 92 year old mum and three of my siblings turned up and I learned that the lower you are in the pecking order, the earlier you die.  What I want to know is, suppose you spend all your time gaming on the internet, can other people tell where you are in the pecking order? Can fellow bloggers tell whether you’re an alpha or a zeta? Well can you? Which am I then? And which are you?

Then the Red Cross Visiting Service rang up and asked if I’d like to adopt another old lady. YES I said (just like Jim Carrey, only with a less twisty expression).  Because old people sometimes get really really lonely.  My last old person used to light up when I came in, and when I stood up to go, she’d say ‘When are you coming back?’. And I’d say ‘next week’ and she’d say ‘Couldn’t you come any sooner?’ because I was the only person to sit down and talk with her the WHOLE WEEK THROUGH.  Plus old people can tell you things – like that the Great Wall of China was built out of rice.

It was not!

It was. Partly. Google it.

So I suppose you think that entitles you to Points, right?

Oh who cares about points really….Yes it damn well does!! And here’s a quote from Buddha, to cap it off.

Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.

Next week, I’ll be wearing the Pink Tee Shirt of Death – and also attempting (like Captain Savage only better) to refrain from Wrong Speech for a whole week.  Except on Captain Savage’s upcoming birthday jubilee, because what the hell else will we talk about??

Just kidding.

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26 comments

  1. 100 point for being clever to both of you. Wait, 50 each. I like the FREE HUGS T, with the cactus on it. That’s my choice (With scowl). No cussing, that should be worth eternal forgiveness, or karma ice-cream or something BIG! Karma Quiche for you forever, made by your mum and sibs. Pecking and eggs go together btw. Nice play on words.

    I don’t think i’m an alpha Troll guys! I like those little silly trolls with lime green and hot pink hair though. Stand me up in a window, and i will make you laugh for karma-eternity.

    What’s the score, dudes? I suppose i’ll find out at Capt. Savages house.

    Thanks for making me chuckle, now i must work on bills and decisions and administrative bs. 🙂

  2. I once went 21 years without sex, btw. There, i’ve admitted it. I was in a punishment phase. OK, and btw, Brilliant post!

    • Wow! That’s a long time. I didn’t START having sex till I was 19 (couldn’t find anyone to have it with till then). After that I never was without it for more than about 2 months – got hooked I guess. Now I’m trying to go cold turkey. And thanks xo xo!

      • Hey, cold turkey (or no turkey) isn’t that bad. I went to Fashion design school, some extension classes at HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArvard .. and got a MA and MBA while clenching my knees together. It can be done. 🙂

      • It’s amazing all the good stuff you can get done while clenching your knees together! I’ve found that out already! Harvard!! You must be one extremely clever girl!

  3. I think between quiches and lighting up seniors, you pretty much have the karma thing covered.

    I think ti would be a cool experiment to wear a “Free Hugs” T shirt ,which sends a positive, affirming message while shouting the phrase “Free Hugs” at the top of your voice in German, which would be deeply terrifying (I grew up in a German speaking household and can vouch that anything said with sufficient volume in German is terrifying). I think the dichotomy would provoke some interesting responses (and a speedy arrest, come to think of it)

    • That’s a hilarious idea. So how do you say Free Hugs in German? Actually it wouldn’t get you arrested here, every day in the centre of town there’s some person wandering around shouting gobbledegook at the top of their lungs at their invisible friend/enemy – and nobody takes any notice, so I guess they just wander off eventually.

      • frei freundlich liebevoll platonischgesten mit einsetzen der arme um eine andere und leicht andrücken!!! would be my guess….

  4. Live the thought of the doggie perfume shop, and by god don’t dogs that have been rolling in Shiite stink! Can’t agree with the pecking order concept because in my experience done real rotters end up hanging around for ever and some of the bestest and loveliest people go first! So what else Karmic are you up to this week coming? I’ve now sponsored my child, but not thru World Vision, thru the Smith Family and my money has gone to and Australian child, because I think we too often forget that there are poor and disadvantaged in every country, even our own.

    CS

    • i think it doesn’t matter where the child you help is, it’s a kid and if you help it, is good. So congratulations! No maybe I haven’t explained the pecking order thing very well. Apparently low status people produce a lot of cortisol, and that makes them die sooner. So I gather. So it has nothing to do with virtue and lots to do with status in the hierarchy that is human society.

      • Ok I get it now, I always thought the pecking order related to chooks! But trust someone to come up with a more ‘scientific’ explanation for why some people die before others. I would have thought it was logical that lower status people just died earlier because they tend to eat crappy food, do the wrong things like smoke and drink, and don’t have access to quality healthcare.

        Having read the extract I found it interesting that a study found that in this study the lower graded or level public servants were 3 times more likely to die of heart disease than their fat overpaid bosses! There is some kind of ironic comment in there I think.

        CS

    • 2000 a day comes easily. 3000 is really pushing it, but the thing is, I’ve written the first draft in longhand, so the 2nd draft has something to go on. When you write a novel, how long do you aimf or it to be? I’m thinking this one shouldn’t be more than 50,000 words..

      • Depends on the genre and the story. With a YA I shoot for 55-65k. With an adult novel 80k is a good number to shoot for. If it’s adult and under 75k, I’ve been told that’s usually considered a novella and those are pretty hard to sell.

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