Today the Mother of prospective World Leader Mr F is pleased to announce an amnesty for anyone who hasn’t so far followed her blog, thus saving them from being interned for political re-education in the usual way.
But hang on – Mr F isn’t now and probably never will be World Leader?
Well actually he’s just unveiled what sounded to me like a damn good plan today and let’s just say if he’s not World Leader in twenty years or so he’ll probably be something else rich and important so I’m not complaining. Mr F’s plan is as follows:
- Get Really Rich. He hasn’t identified the field yet but for a bright young man of 17 that’s no insuperable obstacle.
- Using his personal wealth, build up a private army, along the lines of Blackwater but with fewer embarrassing stuff-ups.
- Make friends with a US Presidential Candidate and ensure his/her election to office.
- Using the private army, knock over a small failing African state which contains rich natural resources – the Congo, for instance.
- Using this state as a base, take over the rest of Africa. If any questions are raised in high places, ring the President and he will fix it.
- Now that Mr F controls the whole of Africa and has made trillions of dollars out of diamonds and oil etc, move on to the rest of the world. Recognising that first world countries have their vanity, allow them to THINK they still rule themselves.
What to do with all this wealth and power? Become the next President of the US (the first Aussie ever to do so) and institute the kind of free market capitalism which would make even Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan come over all faint.
You heard it first here. Mr F loves his mum, so if you’re in with me, chances are you MAY do well out of all this. Otherwise….