Mother of Dear Leader announces amnesty for non-blog followers

Today the Mother of prospective World Leader Mr F is pleased to announce an amnesty for anyone who hasn’t so far followed her blog, thus saving them from being interned for political re-education in the usual way.

But hang on – Mr F isn’t now and probably never will be World Leader?

Well actually he’s just unveiled what sounded to me like a damn good plan today and let’s just say if he’s not World Leader in twenty years or so he’ll probably be something else rich and important so  I’m not complaining.  Mr F’s plan is as follows:

  • Get Really Rich. He hasn’t identified the field yet but for a bright young man of 17 that’s no insuperable obstacle.
  • Using his personal wealth, build up a private army, along the lines of Blackwater but with fewer embarrassing stuff-ups.
  • Make friends with a US Presidential Candidate and ensure his/her election to office.
  • Using the private army, knock over a small failing African state which contains rich natural resources – the Congo, for instance.
  • Using this state as a base, take over the rest of Africa. If any questions are raised in high places, ring the President and he will fix it.
  • Now that Mr F controls the whole of Africa and has made trillions of dollars out of diamonds and oil etc, move on to the rest of the world.  Recognising that first world countries have their vanity, allow them to THINK they still rule themselves.

What to do with all this wealth and power?  Become the next President of the US (the first Aussie ever to do so) and institute the kind of free market capitalism which would make even Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan come over all faint.

You heard it first here.  Mr F loves his mum, so if you’re in with me, chances are you MAY do well out of all this.  Otherwise….


      1. Evil Genius has a heart of gold too, he just prefers determination and cunning as a general life philosophy.

        True story: Evil Genius wanted a tank for his 8th birthday. Not just because all young boys think tanks are cool, but he wanted to be able to hire out and destroy things for money.

        He also didn’t want just any tank. He had it spec’d out so he could get the most bang for the buck, so to speak. He took into account reliability and how easy he could get ammo and replacement parts. Sigh.

      2. wow! You sure we’re not related somehow? I remember discussing with Mr F, when he was three-ish, about how much people might pay to watch him crash a jet into the sea. That was his big money-making plan, back then – now, he too is interested in owning a tank – just to drive around town.

  1. An Australian as US president? Why not? Everyone here loves you amiable Australians, so maybe it would end our government’s partisan bickering. Hey, anything’s worth a shot!

  2. So, this is how you get your “followers” to come out of the woodwork?World Leaders definitely need their mums to guide the way. DPRK’s Dear Leader lost his mum a few years ago, so he is doomed…..

      1. I can’t wait for your blackmailing to start……..I did a lot that when my kids were growing up. The Dear Leader? Yep………I don’t think he knows what hit him……he probably never will! Think he needs a speech coach though, he isn’t a very good dictator…..yet!

  3. Does Mr. F know you published his plans? Now what if I beat him to it?

    However, realistically, I would prefer to be the U.S. president who helps him out. I’ll be old enough to run in the 2016 election, so we’ll see to it that he gets my number.

    1. I figure a heap of unpublished would-be authors (that’s us, mostly) aren’t going to be able to stand in his way even if they do have prior warning. Thanks btw, I’ll pass that on, you’ll be amply rewarded I’m sure!

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