I’m here to tell you – it really IS hard being too beautiful!

I agree with Ms Brick (the most beautiful woman in the world other than moi, and thank you Lord for not giving ME that last name!) that we really should feel sorry for people who are too beautiful.

But not for the reasons she puts forward.  Maybe the hardest thing about having beauty – any beauty, from a nice set of teeth to a body like Beyonce’s –  is losing it.  It’s hard to lose even a small part of one’s beauty, but the more beautiful you are, the harder it is to adjust to life without it.  Your whole life has been built around the central truth of your essential gorgeousness.  And then, gradually, through no fault of your own, that’s taken away from you.


Why don’t people run up to you with flowers any more? Why do they look through you? Why isn’t your path through life as smooth as it used to be?  Even I used to be prettier than I am now, and I feel a bit sad to think that whatever I once had is now fading to obscurity. How much worse would it be for someone who hasn’t had to use their brain and their charm (such as it is) to get ahead in the world, and now finds themselves wobbling on a crumbling pillar like a one-legged stork.

And the other hard thing about being beautiful is that once you’ve got it, it becomes central to how other people perceive you.  You’re never allowed to forget it or transcend it.  My beautiful niece wants to be a model. She’d be perfect for it. But once a model, people are going to be looking her up and down and saying things like, sweetheart, you’d look even better with bigger boobs, or a different nose, or a size zero dress size, and pretty soon she’ll feel compelled to be beautiful, rather than having it conferred on her like a divine privilege.

My child is beautiful too but I hope she’ll never be a model.  I hope she’ll never be so beautiful that her character and intelligence aren’t far more beautiful than her face.

Also, I wish I’d really been born gorgeous so I could be drinking champagne with billionaires instead of blogging about beauty and other guff!


  1. What about us guys? Handsome would be better than beautiful. 😉

    I hear what you’re saying. I was involved with a woman years ago that was naturally drop-dead gorgeous. The right shaped face, body type that men find insanely attractive, intelligent, incredibly sexy voice. Yet, she was pretty unhappy. She didn’t have many relationships–she said that a lot of guys were too intimidated by how she looked. And she’d grown cynical; most of the guys who asked her out did it because of how she looked. She automatically turned most men down because they wanted arm candy rather than someone who had a personality they liked. She wanted her looks to be a bonus, not the primary reason.

    1. Guys can be beautiful too! I think it must be hard to develop much of a personality, if you’re beautiful. But then, how would I know. If I were beautiful, I’d get in big trouble for discussing it openly, as this woman has (and it’s worse for her because she isn’t beautiful). Not many people can carry off ‘I’m beautiful and I know it’.

  2. Don’t you and Capt.. Savage have days of champaign and strawberries on the balcony?

    Beauty can be a disaster for people with low self – esteem. Make sure your daughter and niece at least have a strong sense of self and worth beyond a size zero body!!!

    1. Yeah I’ve heard that, about people. My daughter’s very strong I think, my niece, a little silly maybe at this point, but aren’t we all. Nah, CS and I don’t – we’re too busy living our normal boring lives!

  3. Weren’t we all beautiful when we were young? Looking in the mirror nowadays proves what’s been lost. At first this bothered me but then I just decided to embrace the change. I am still me and better than ever before.

    Interesting conversation post.

    1. I guess it depends, to be honest. I used to have a perfect body and now..not so perfect, and I’m kind of sad to see it go. Plus, I’m single now, as of a year ago, and don’t like the idea of having to rely on charm alone – loaded with it as I am – to pick up.

  4. Having never been known for my physical beauty, it doesn’t pain me too much to watch it go. My brain on the other hand? Let’s hope that little walnut stays intact. 🙂

  5. I’m the fourth dalai lama! Once I cleared the teen years, I never really worried about my appearance (trust me, I’ve seen pictures!). I’d rather just be comfortable in my own skin.

  6. I think it must be hard to lose a piece of your identity. For many women, it is their looks. Luckily, I’ve always been a brainiac so the loss of my intelligence should be a ways off. fingers crossed.

    1. I’ve always been brainy too (at least that’s what I think) but part of me wishes I could have been a bimbo as well. You know, like Brooke Shields was supposed to be a straight a college student? Myth, probably!

  7. I kind of don’t get how this woman thinks she is so beautiful, but then again beauty is so subjective, some people make a living out of modelling their hands and other body parts, which I totally don’t get what so ever. But are you and Ginger Fightback having a bag wearing competition? Trouble with people who think they are beautiful is that to me beauty isn’t just the exterior, its the whole package. Often the interior beauty and personality far outweigh the exterior, that’s why I think it’s worth taking time to get to know someone.

    This is not to say that I would go for someone who looks like witchypoo from H.R. Puff and Stuff, cause she was really ugly and really bad… So maybe my total package concept has limits on the level of negatives I’ll tolerate to find the sweet centre…

    (Has a lovely soft centre one you get past his crusty exterior)

    1. I don’t think anyone gets that, poor woman. Even if she was Angelina Jolie she’d have a hard time carrying off the ‘too beautiful’ complaint – anyway people like Angelina, who IS pretty hot, generally pretend they don’t even think about it. So points for honesty, maybe.

  8. Too many people lied in your pole! (that sounded kind of raunchy) Anyway, you hear about that lady in Britain who gave her daugher 10,000 pounds–that’s a hell of a lot–for her 8th birthday so she could get plastic surgery? Insanity I say…

    1. Yeah, hard to believe about that woman! It makes sense in a weird sort of way, we have this culture where beauty is supposed to be the main aim of females (which is understandable in evolutionary terms cause the most beautiful gets the genetically superior guy). So why NOT try to make your eight year old top of the pile.

      1. Strangely enough though, most other species, the male is always the most “beautiful,” colorful one. Just look at birds, all birds with the brighter colors are the males. The things that lady said made me wanna go Grendel’s mama on her, and I’m not even a mama.

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