Bosoms!

Ms M (verging on 15) and I recently went on a bonding weekend to the Blue Mountains (New South Wales, Australia – awesome!).

On the way there we stopped by Norman Lindsay’s Garden. Norm was a famous painter, sculptor and bottom pincher of the 1920s, and his garden is full of stone statues of naked chicks in various attitudes, apparently modelled on, well, models he knew in the Biblical sense. Norm’s women were all slim and perky, none of this ‘all shapes and sizes’ stuff for HIM. In fact they might as well have been all the SAME woman.

Ms M, who thinks it should be called the Adolescent Boys’ Hardon Gardens, had her picture taken groping the boob of a statue she calls ‘Mrs Tumnus’ (in reference to the Faun in The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe).

“So” I said casually, “This place sure is stacked with buxom wenches!”

“What IS a buxom wench?” says Ms M.

“Well, you know, someone curvaceous. Big top, big bottom…” (illustrates with hands).

“I think there should be separate words,” says Ms M thoughtfully. “How about we call the ones with double D tops ‘boobsome’ and the ones who’ve got more booty down below – we could call them ‘buttsome’?

Ms M will be famous one day, I just know it (but for what, I dread to think)!

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25 comments

  1. That bitch is boobsome … I love it, teenage boy HARD garden. Oh yeah. Beautiful scenery regardless of the adolescent boys’ deposits. EWWWWWW. I’m so jealous of the mountains about beauty of your nature over yonder. Hee haw. Yankee, mel

    • we’re a bit jealous of YOUR nature! At least, Ms M is – she thinks the Grand Canyon and Oregon and all that trumps any old boring gum trees. Me, I kinda like it here but I’d love to come there too one day.

  2. I will be pointing right at you and Ms to blame when I get in trouble for using “boobsome” and “buttsome”. Just so you know…

    the title remindd me of It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, when Milton Berle and terry Thomas are driving along, and Terry says “What I can’t understand is this American fixation with bosoms.”
    thanks for the memory. (no, it never occurred to me to write “mammary”.)

  3. A title like that: Exactly! Gets everyone’s attention every time.

    Frankly, it could be the same woman over and over again. Probably was. Sculpturers aren’t any different from any other artists. Could have been a current favourite. Maybe it’s just about celebrating the human form?

    • You’re right, I should write for the Sunday Times. I think it was about celebrating the human form, and really the statues were lovely – only if I could sculpt, I’d sculpt different sorts of bodies, not always the pretty-much-perfect sort.

  4. To be fair, not all Lindsay women were Elle. see if instance, The Lute Player at http://www.all-art.org/art_20th_century/lindsay1.html. (hate to be the subject if the strings snapped). Some are positively Rubenesque. I have the impression that he was not too picky.

    I’d like the new words to catch on, but I’ll wait until they are in more common use before trying, for fear of getting my face slapped.

    (expat friend of mine went to see Sirens in Boston. While others were salivating over bosoms, he got all nostalgic over gum trees).

  5. Rose,

    I enjoyed hearing about what a great time you and Miss M had wandering amongst Buttsome and Boobsome, and I agree the Blue Mountains are pretty awesome.

    I have seen Sirens, although it was a while ago. It had a young looking Hugh Grant in it, plus Elle MacPherson (not for her acting) and Sam Neill as the naughty man himself (Norman).

    Here’s the promo clip on YouTube, you might still be able to get it on DVD if your interested. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTzat7vRdCQ/

    I agree, Miss M has an interesting view of the world and a great way with words (she’s learning from a master). Norm wasn’t just a bottom pincher, he was also a bit of a author, but you know that already. I used to love reading the Magic Pudding to my daughter.

    Capt. Savage
    (Waiting for a chance to use Buttsome and Boobsome)

  6. Your blog about bosoms caught my attention for some reason. As an art student in college 55 years ago, my sculpture instructor actually graded me lower than she would have normally because I accentuated the upper part of the female torso I had done. She told me that in a critique. I considered my sculpture very anatomically correct, top and bottom, and slightly erotic. The human body means different things to different people depending upon their religious upbringing, interest in sex, appreciation of art, but not age because I still enjoy anatomy.
    Thank for reading my blog. I have enjoyed yours. I do have other blogs about human anatomy you might wish to check out.

    • thanks! I think I did (check them out) though I didn’t realise your forte was human anatomy. If I was a sculptor I’d sculpt people just like me so everybody would come to appreciate the wonder that is MOI! Just kidding.

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