What constitutes a Ladee?
Someone recently designated one day in the year as ‘World Be a Gentleman Day’ – on this day people would do things like open doors (for anyone, not just ladeez), turn off their mobiles in restaurants, and refrain from urinating in public. The organiser made the point that being a gentleman didn’t just involve being nice to ladeez, it involved manners and consideration for all one’s fellow humans.
So what would (or wouldn’t) one do on ‘Be a Lady’ Day? Is being a lady the SAME as being a gentleman, only in drag? I think it pretty much is. Here is my own list of Rules for Ladeez:
- It is not ladylike to grub after money. That means NOT cosying up to guys because they can buy you stuff and not because you like them. And NOT suing your relatives because your parents didn’t leave you stuff in their will– it’s their money, not yours.
- It’s not ladylike to wear clothes which resemble sausage skins. High heels don’t make sausages look any better, either (except maybe Cumberland sausages).
- It’s not ladylike to fight except in defence of the nation, yourself or your kids. Punching, glassing, kicking, stomping on people with stilettos, slapping your significant other – none of these are ladylike and at least one is domestic violence.
- It’s not ladylike to swear a lot, except in accidents involving toes or rear-enders. Fucking is a verb, not a descriptive adjective that should be applied to everything.
- It’s not ladylike to reject an approach from the opposite sex with ‘Fuck off, retard’. Unless they really asked for it. It’s hard being a man and having to make the Move, don’t make it any harder.
- It’s not ladylike to give people head under restaurant tables. It’s just..as Ms M says, eww. Besides, consider the waitpersons, THEY didn’t come to work to clean that stuff off the tablecloth.
- It’s not ladylike to participate in overt displays of sexuality at work. Someone I know KNOWS someone who participated in a wet tee-shirt competition with their professional (female) colleagues when pissed out of their mind at an office party. Well, that may be alright for SOME but it’s not quite the home life of our own dear Queen (and this by the way is a line which applies in HEAPS of situations!)
- Vulgarity isn’t about lack of Class, it’s about lack of class.