Breakfast with Buddha

Tags

book reviews, breakfast with buddha, buddhism, fiction, philosophy, reviews, writing

Why so angry?

I wish I had the guts to say that to my next door neighbour.  Or, better still, I wish I could turn into the Hulk and leap up to the window from which she periodically leans to screech ‘Shut up!!!”, and jump up and down on her until she was nothing more than an unpleasant stain on the carpet.  Why so angry?  You really WANNA KNOW why so angry??? I’ll TELL you why so ANGRY!!!!!!

Only, Volya Rinpoche wouldn’t approve of that kind of thing.  In case you don’t know, Volya Rinpoche is the suspect sage in Breakfast with Buddha, by Roland Merullo.  I bought this book on King Midget’s recommendation and it was a damn well spent $6.

Along with Otto Ringling, the gluttonous, slightly priggish hero, the book prods you to ask yourself some of the more interesting of life’s questions.  Like…

Why do you bother being good? (good-ish, decent, not positively evil)

Why do you bother doing anything at all? I mean, you can’t take it with you. You’re just going to die, right?

Why (do people get) so angry?

Why?

Breakfast with Buddha is about a guy who goes on a road trip with an annoyingly ineffable guru his long haired loopy sister foists on him, and ends up being converted.  Apart from being a lesson on the risks of hanging around with those bald guys in orange dresses, reading this book had me thinking more deeply about life as I walked the dogs.  Or really, just about the actual part of life that I was walking through – black sky, cool air on my face, gums with their bark peeling off like snake-skin, skitterings in bushes, dead branches against the stars.

Like the hero, I don’t like chanting Omm.  I once went to a pregnancy yoga class, and flatly refused to sing to my unformed baby as he sat stolidly in my womb.  Probably that’s why he’s recently joined a conservative political party’s youth wing.

Like the hero, I don’t believe in reincarnation, or love as the animating force of the universe.  Unlike the hero, I’ve yet to meet a guru who’s going to convince me of all this.  Still…

I used to think that faith is what you have when you want to believe in something – say, life after death – but can’t find any facts to back it up.  I used to think that people should only believe in the rational – that anything else was a betrayal of truth.

Now, I see that the things I really, really believe – that good and evil are real forces, or perhaps directions, which we humans need to consciously move towards or oppose – that these things are not really based on anything but an unsupported hunch.  If we really get down to why, there is no why.  I just feel it.  I don’t feel anything about the existence of god, or gods.  I’m sceptical about reincarnation.  I’m not sure I even have a soul.  But I feel that the fight between good and evil, for those of us who know what it is – us human animals – is a real one, with real consequences, somewhere.

It’s as loopy as knocking on wood, or as the book’s ‘Spanakopita Cecelia’.  Still, that’s faith!

Do you have groundless faith in anything? Is there a place for faith, if you’re not religious? Why?

And now for something completely different – a CREEPY PASTA! And I’m not talking mouldy spaghetti (google it).

The Karma Challenge – Week 9

Tags

animals, buddhism, dog lovers, Dogs, foster dogs, good deeds, humor, humour, karma, karmic challenge, philosophy

The aspiration

Do anything. Just don’t LOSE any more points!

The reality

Why aren’t there any mad Dog Women? I mean, what have mad Cat Women got that mad Dog Women haven’t!

It’s alright though, SUPER Mad Dog Woman is here!  I’ve just applied to foster a dog and if they let me, that’ll mean there are FOUR stinky farting puppies living in my house. One will have been given a reprieve from Pound Death Row, though, so I guess (preparing to hold nose through haze of dog farts) that’ll be worth it.

Here’s the deal.  Dogs (and cats) in the dog shelter usually get a fixed time to find a new owner (or their old one). If they don’t, they get the needle. Dog fosterers take on dogs that don’t sell and give them a home until they do. Following the lead of well-known dog lover Cruella De Vil, I’m opening my home to LOTS of lost puppies! (especially ones with black and white spots)

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Actually it’s been a pretty doggy weekend.  On Sunday I committed an act of the vilest child abuse, which consisted of taking Ms M (WITHOUT asking her first) on the Million Paws Walk.

HER: You mean we have to go to the PARK?

ME: Yes. But there’ll be lots of cute dogs.

HER: But the internet’s expecting me! It’ll be upset!

ME: It’s for a good cause!  There’ll be fairy cakes!

HER: Oh.  How LONG do we have to go for then?

Since Ms M doesn’t get out of bed for less than 10,000 (wakeup calls, not dollars), we were too late for the official WALK beside the lake, BUT we were in time to wander round looking at people with all kinds of dogs, from walking sausages to cows with collars (and also to view a Dog Fancy Dress Competition – not sure just what I think of this poodle though…).

Also, I bought not one but two bumper stickers from MAWA (Medical Advances Without Animals), and also made a donation.

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SO, Rose (says my imaginary interviewer, let’s call her Cynical Cyndy), I’m wondering whether life’s actually got better since you started being good?

Well, Cyndi, first of all, thank you SO much for asking!  Life’s got so much better since I started being unemployed! (that is, ‘between contracts’) that it’s hard to tell whether being good’s made any difference.

Thought not.

But hang on – I AM pretty happy!  I’ve made new blog friends like Blatherbabe, Iamnotshe, Normal Deviations, Sharmishtha Basu, Chris Sheridan, El Guapo and Devil in the Flesh.  I’ve met a real-life Sir Galahad (Sir Simon actually), without the Grail obsession or the need to fight people with pointy sticks.  I’ve realised that dating is more fun when you play it for laughs.  Then of course there’s my fabulously witty daughter and my 17 year old son who STILL wraps his arm around me when we go to the movies! (you can think that’s weird if you like, but it’s not, he’s just sweetly affectionate).  And for once I’m not feeling guilty.  How good’s that?

By three things the wise person may be known. What three? He sees a shortcoming as it is. When he sees it, he tries to correct it. And when another acknowledges a shortcoming, the wise one forgives it as he should.
Anguttara Nikaya I – 103

The Karmic Challenge – Week Five

Tags

bucket list, buddhism, humour, karma, karmic challenge, kounting karma, life

A jug fills drop by drop.

Buddha

The Aspiration

To be a better daughter and to stop thinking mean and bitchy thoughts.

The Reality

The more I get into this thing the more I think, what exactly is the point? What am I trying to do here?

At first it was a joke. Like a lot of my life decisions, it just seemed like a good idea at the time.  Maybe, magically, if I did something different, my life would change for the better.  If not, at least it’d be an interesting experiment.

Now I’m starting to think it takes more than a few late night resolutions to actually change.  Changing is the hardest thing anyone can do – lots of people want to do it, and hardly anyone really does.  Real change is not just swimming upstream against the world, it’s swimming upstream against yourself.  The real me just wants to stay home and write.  BUT -

Bitchy Thoughts

Like I said, this week I really tried not to think too many VIOLENT PSYCHOTIC EVIL thoughts.  Actually I was so busy this week I more or less forgot to anyway – but not quite!

Minus 2 KARMIC POINTS!

Reaching out

• Halinka, we’ve been friends for15 years.  In that time, you’ve told me many times how special I am to you, and that’s really bucked me up.  But I’ve never really reciprocated, cause we British Australians don’t do soppy stuff.  Anyway, last week you were sad and stressed, so I gave you a hug and told you I loved you.  You rock, babe. 3 POINTS (you’ve got no idea how painful it was to actually say something, you know….ewww)
• Stan, I picked you up at a party 6 years ago, cause you looked like a really nice bloke. In that time, you’ve always been there for me, picking up my car when I broke down on the road halfway to Sydney, offering support when I broke up with the Demon Ex.  We don’t have too much in common, and it’s usually you that rings ME.  I haven’t heard from you for a year and I kinda wondered if you were ok – but I was too busy to ask.  Yesterday I rang you and we fixed up to have dinner sometime.  You’re crap with personal finances, Stan, but you’re a Good Man.  May good things come to you (but not necessarily in cash). 3 POINTS
• Mum, I don’t know how much longer you’re going to be around. When you think about it, I could’ve said that about anyone, anytime.  But now the situation’s slightly more urgent and I’m calling in once every couple of days, because the time’s coming when I’ll never see your dear face again.  Let’s not get soppy though, alright? 0 POINTS, YOU OUGHTA BE NICE TO YOUR MUM ANYWAY.

Captain Savage and Rose try out for The X Factor

Yeah, we sing and look like complete dags. Whatever!

Next Week

I promise to write a story JUST for sis.  In it, she’s gonna be a saint. No, a real one. The first atheist ever to sit on the right hand of God.  Sis, you are going to LIKE this story, I guarantee! And THEN you’re going to cook me dinner????

A funny thing happened on the way to Nirvana..

Tags

blogging, buddhism, humour, karma, karmic challenge, kounting karma, philosophy

It’s Good News Week, da de da de da!

Well no actually not in THIS song – BUT – taking a trip around the blogosphere, I’ve realised – der! – that Captain Savage and me are WAY behind when it comes to the pursuit of Good Deeds  There are some amazing – and hilarious – things going on out there in the world of Karma.  To name but a few

What the World Needs

A chocolate shop where you buy chocolates not with money but with Good Deeds???  What a fantastic idea! (Do they pay the people they rent the space off with Good Deeds though?) ANYWAY it’s priceless. Literally.

Goooodnews!

We probably all know Gulf States have really tricky immigration laws – and if you don’t fulfil your visa requirements, they’re just as likely to beat you up as they are to deport you. Well, here’s a guy who started a Facebook page to lend money to people who get stuck in Catch 22 visa situations in Bahrain – just out of the goodness of their hearts!  What, a Middle Eastern cell who aren’t plotting World Domination? Can this be?

Random Musings of a Random Girl

Some people say Generations X, Y, Z and whatever comes after that are progressively more selfish and materialistic.  Singapore’s got a reputation as the World’s Most Anal City. And yet, here’s a group of Singaporean dudes and dudettes doing stuff like creeping up on sleeping students at exam time and leaving them a a little note ‘While you were asleep’ and a snack – or leaping up and down waving ‘Have a Great Day’ banners at total strangers.  The second video has got to be the happiest youtube thing you’ve ever seen.  Well done guys but remember not to drop your sweet wrappers!

Gizmo and Stitch

This site invites cold, hard-edged Londoners to knit blankets for sad little abused puppy dogs at the iconic Battersea Dogs Home (wasn’t that where Paddington Bear was from)?  And they do!  Here is a picture of a little doggy sitting on its knitted blanket. Aww.

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AND FINALLY – DRUM ROLL

Martinis for Merits

This lady does a Good Deed every week – and rewards herself with a martini.  I haven’t been so inspired since…I finished a whole bottle of Baileys Irish Cream by myself on my 21st birthday!  Since I don’t drink any more maybe I’d rather reward myself now with sex or maybe cooking chocolate, but still…

The Karmic Challenge – Week Four

Tags

blogging, buddhism, good deeds, humour, karma, karmic challenge, life, philosophy

TWO BLOGGERS. ONE PRIZE – 500 Karmic Points by Christmas!

The Buddha said,

The kind of seed sown
will produce that kind of fruit.
Those who do good will reap good results.
Those who do evil will reap evil results.
If you carefully plant a good seed,
You will joyfully gather good fruit.                                   

The Aspiration!

• Become a Kid’s Friend
• Help feed the cats
• Be a better daughter

The Reality

Captain Savage is powering ahead, so much so that he hasn’t (yet) had time to blog his Good Deeds for the week, so I’m blogging them for him. He’ll let me know (by scratching my car with a bayonet) if I’ve left any out .   So here they are:

• Giving his three children, including disabled twins, a lovely two week holiday in sun-kissed Queensland – and has photos to prove it! 10 POINTS
• Standing in for his boss at work – in which capacity he gets to wear a superbly cut suit and tie and boast of attending ‘endless meetings’.  Yeah CS, I know it’s a status symbol!  1 POINT

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Meanwhile this week  I’ve:

• Gone along to an information night before enrolling as a Barnardo’s Kids Friend. You wouldn’t believe the paperwork you have to fill out to be mates with a Barnardo’s Kid!  If I make it through, I’ll be doing something fun once a week with a kid who needs some additional adult support. I actually love the idea of doing something fun, as MY kids are TOTES BORING! (Hear that Ms M, Mr F?) 3 POINTS
• Returned to the lair of the Thousand Orphaned Puddytats. They were all gathered in one spot for dinner this time and I swear, I could almost have run over their massed backs like an Aussie sheep dog (or Paul Hogan in Crocodile Dundee). This time Ms M and I brought a huge tray of meat. “Thanks, that’ll be tonight’s dinner!” says Belinda the Cat Lady, and flings it to the yowling multitudes.  Ms M is now trying to convince her dad to get a kitten, to wit, Tango (see below).  3 POINTS

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• Written my mum a special story.  In which, she is not just an elderly mother but in fact the famous Grey Owl, a resistance heroine of stupendous personal charms and fearless heroism, who swashbuckles through thick German accents and swooning Frenchmen to rescue the man of her dreams – my dad (who sadly is dead so can’t enjoy his promotion to Captain in the Third Airborne Division of the RAAF).  3 POINTS

And the story? I’m not going to bore anyone with the whole lot but it began like this…

THE FLIGHT OF THE GREY OWL

 The petite, quiet young woman in the dove grey suit and matching pillbox hat sipped her hot chocolate in the sunny window of a small café in Montpelier, France.  Although she seemed intent on her copy of Madame Bovary, her cool hazel eyes missed nothing.

A shadow fell on the checked table cloth, blocking her light. She looked up.

“Mademoiselle, you are alone? May I join you?  Let me introduce myself, my name is Armand…”

Long-lashed, innocently sultry eyes met rakish green ones.  Mademoiselle Fifi smiled sweetly.

“I prefer to be alone, thank you,” she answered politely, in a perfect Parisian accent.  The tall strikingly handsome Frenchman regarded her with bemused admiration.

“But a woman so beautiful, so elegant!  It must not be! Are you engaged, perhaps, that you prefer your own company?”

Mademoiselle Fifi sighed……..

AND…

• Sent an email to President Hu asking him to please stop milking Moon Bears for bile, and another one to Australia’s PM asking her to please not be mean to cows.  Fat lot of good that’ll do. However, I was ALSO thinking of making a SEXY VIDEO offering to take my top off for the first five hundred men who can demonstrate sincere commitment to animal welfare. Then I thought, that will probably spur them in the opposite direction.  But heck, there has GOT to be a better way to get people to do things MY way in this world. 1 POINT

Next Week’s Aspiration

I can’t think as far as next week!

No actually, how about:

• SEXY WOMEN AGAINST CRUELTY TO ANIMALS.  This would involve me, you (all you sexy chicks out there) and heaps of cleavage and fishnets.  Does anyone think this might be a goer?

• A WHOLE WEEK of trying not to say or think horrible things.  Does it matter what you think and say as well as what you do? Is it just your acts which have consequences, or also your motives?  For example, Mum thinks a Good Deed done for points is NOT a good deed.  What do you think?
• Rose! Write on the board a hundred times, I MUST NOT DAYDREAM ABOUT CHOPPING MY EX BOYFRIEND INTO SMALL PIECES AND STEWING HIM WITH SAGE.

The Karmic Challenge!

Tags

buddhism, competition, counting karma, humour, kounting karma, philosophy, Religion

It’s the first Wednesday of the KARMIC CHALLENGE, and Captain Savage has challenged me to a duel to the death, the loser to become a slug.  This week, I am going to attempt to:

• make my mother Creme Caramel. Usually I turn up to her place with frozen curry, so this is a pretty scary thing for me. Also, I will bring flowers, partly to cheer her up and partly in case the Creme Caramel doesn’t work out (I haven’t made it before).
• say something seriously appreciative to someone I don’t like. It’ll be hard, but I’m going to ooze sincerity (because you don’t get karma unless you mean it).
• pay compliments to strangers (not just the attractive ones either).

Captain Savage, in a frantic attempt to catch up, is going to do the following acts of stupendous niceness:

• take his horrible colleague out to coffee (I hope he survives. Her, not so much)
• eat only cruelty-free meat for a month (extra points if he can avoid baby animals)

Unfortunately CS starts with a handicap as he took someone’s parking space today – a wicked act which cost him 5 points.

At the end of the week, we’ll tot our points up, list our selfless acts, and post them. If anybody else does anything spectacularly karmic during the week, feel free to let me know and I’ll list THOSE as well.  Better than an award and much easier to get around to! (maybe)