Tags
constructive criticism, editing, fiction, mermaid, novels, reviewing, the little mermaid, writing
Picture borrowed from http://www.designzzz.com/featuring-katigatorxx-digital-art-and-photo-manipulations/
When I look back now, home seems like a story for pups playing in tide pools. And yet, there are kinds and kinds of stories. There’s the kind that you read to me once from a book your mother gave you when you were small, that begins ‘once upon a time’ and ends ‘and they lived..’. Well, you know.  It’s the same kind that my mother used to murmur to us before bed time – fresh rain in the morning and fat silver fish with pearls for eyes, and sea-witches with the power to grant your heart’s desire, and mates handsome as – well, as you were, to me.
And the other kind. Sunlit in the shallows, but dark below, the kind to keep young mer awake at night dreaming of the ugly sharp-toothed things that live far down in Deep Sea, or of the long nets of humans, and their sails of scraped mer-skin, drying in the wind. Stories that begin well, with young mer girls combing out their bright hair on the rocks, and end in death and the crunching of old bones into sand on the sea shore.
But if any of those things were ever real, any of them, they’re lost now and exist only in my mind. Like home.
This is the beginning of my newest novel. It only gets worse from there. I just finished the penultimate draft (that’s the draft you have to cover with red pen before it becomes anywhere near ultimate). And I’m looking for a few willing volunteers to immerse themselves temporarily in this water-based fantasy-novel cum under-sea kitchen soap opera -based loosely on Hans Christian Andersen’s Little Mermaid – and tell me how I can make it better..any offers?
love
Rose at englishrose659@hotmail.com
Girl, we have talked about it before, but let me reiterate: I would LOVE to be a beta tester for your’ novel, especially since it begins the way it does above….already has me sucked in!
really? thank you darla, I would really love your feedback.
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yay!
yeah, it does feel good to have finished it. One down, ten ideas in my head to go!
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only ten…?
Ha!
If I can make the time, its yours, my friend.
Really? Thanks hook. I’ll send it and if you can make the time, wonderful – if not, no sweat, as we say in oz.
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Read the email I just sent to you … absolutely no reason to be embarrassed about this incredible story. Now that I know one of your questions … how to make it better … I’ll need to ponder that.
thanks, kingmidget, I will. I’m glad it evidently didn’t send you to sleep straight away. I’m pretty thick skinned about my writing – if I wasn’t, it wouldn’t get any better. So thanks.
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A novel?
Go you!
What are you looking for in a proof read? Spelling? Grammar? Story flow?
Story flow really, Guapo. Does it engage you. Are there bits that don’t work. That kind of stuff
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I’d be happy to read through it.
that would be much appreciated, Guapo. I mean, I would LITERALLY give an arm, a leg and one of my heads for you to read my draft! (refer Guapo’s recent post). You might have to send me an email though cause I don’t have yours to send it through to!
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Clearly the beginning of your novel is intriguing.What could you do as the author to lessen the fears of the mermaid?
Shakti
In this case the mermaid’s fears are justified..it’s not entirely a happy tale.
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Beautiful, I’m not good at making suggestions for novel writers, but I love what you have posted!
Beginnings are my forte, whitelady. Middles are always my problem!
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This sounds fabulous, Rose. Good luck with the novel. Yay.
thanks Tessa. I put some effort into this one.
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A great way to start the week – keep it going!
I’ll try!
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You are such a good writer, Rose….!
I’m not a good reader, so I won’t offer myself. Looking at the comments before mine you are in good hands..
Congratulations are in order though… Good on you; and I wish you all the best with it..!
thanks. Worth a go!
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Damn! There’s our mermaid!!! I’ll expand! xx
what??? all good.
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Oh, no worries, no panicking. I simply like the look of the mermaid’s skin. VERY excited about your book!!! Very excited. (See the pic above). Sorry, i was doing a lot of commenting and FB’ing. My comments are cryptic and hard to understand. All is well in the world.
If all is well then…that’s all good!!!
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