By Violent Violet!!!!
Rose has let me write her post today – thanks for nothing, bi-artch!
Frankly, I feel like strangling her and chopping her into pieces and putting her down the sink like that guinea pig in Kevin. Like, she is so HAPPY! And when I say, ‘what have you got to be happy about, you stupid cow!’ she says shit like:
It’s sunny. (I mean, WTF!)
I don’t have to go to work. (well great, you’re unemployed! Let’s celebrate, moron!)
Every day for as long as I can remember (about a week) has been a Good Hair Day (not after I put hair removal cream in your leave-in conditioner, ha ha)
The only mirror I ever look in (the good one) says I look just fine. Great legs, impressive cleavage, hardly ANY wrinkles – I’d almost pick MYSELF up, if I saw me strutting around. (So would I – and chuck you out the 3rd floor window, you stuckup cow!)
Everyone loves me. I have the loveliest teenagers in the world (and they still give me cuddles), the BEST friends (the Noble Savage, Simon the Metal Man, Halinka the Pole) and the sweetest family. (oh aren’t WE popular today!)
My dogs are better than everyone else’s dogs. (Your dogs stink, literally)
When I get into bed, my little cat purrs on my pillow and snuggles down beside me under the covers. When I wake up, there she is with her head on the pillow beside me, snoring in a squeaky, catty sort of way. Could anything be better than that? (Yeah. Ice? And since when’s having a cat instead of a man in your bed been something to frigging boast about??)
Oh yes, and best of all, YOU read my stuff! I’ve been wanting to tell people Stuff for, god, ever since I was about six. I used to walk home from school making up the speeches I’d deliver as soon as I was Prime Minister or possibly Pope. “People of Australia, there is to be no more sport on tv. I’m sorry if you like it, but it bores the pants off me, so I’ve banned it. And another thing…’ (jesus christ will someone shut this woman up already??)
Now, thanks to WordPress, I CAN tell people stuff, and sometimes, you even read it and say things. Fame! No seriously, to be bubbling over with ideas and thoughts, and to write things, and to have an audience, however select, is just blissful sometimes!
You SEE what I have to put up with? Cut and dried case of Annoyingly Cheerful Disorder if ever I saw one. Hand me an axe and let’s sort this out my way!
Reasons to be Cheerful, Part 3
Ian Dury and The Blockheads? Blats from the fricken past! and MY dog stinks too! be happy Rose, be happy for all it’s worth!
me? i’ma go play video games!
you be happy too!
doing my best!
BLAST from the past!
yeah fun though!
what can I say…those were some of my most vibrant years!
Wow, happy drugs have obviously kicked in big time… Fantastic, although that being said you are possibly a natural anti-depressant and should be prescribed to all males who need reminding that women are there to be enjoyed, savoured and befriended… Ever so glad to have the chance to be a mate, and loved this post and to hear that you are having a great time
Although your evil half sister obviously wrote this post and isn’t enjoying the experience. I say stuff her, be happy and let her have to type with gritted teeth cursing your very existance!!! Be happy Rose, that what most flowers do, and that’s what we all love about them too.
Loved the music etc too….
CS
Ah yes, the drugs. WAsn’t going to say anything about them.
Funny stuff, oops i said stuff. Great song.
Hey, stuff is the best word in the English language! Yeah, that guy was great – Ian Dury!
Ha ha! Loved the “Depressant Drug” video.
yeah it’s pretty funny isn’t it. My ex showed it to me once cause he had depression and he thought I was too happy!
My cat does that…. I’ve often woken with her under my armpit… Oh dear…
Funny little creatures, aren’t they – but strangely comforting!
DRUGS for annoying? I’m running out of my personal despondent script.
Effing ell, i may have to see the sun shining … the fucking glass may continue to be half full! JES**! Somebody stop me. Rose … i love the duet … i love the good cop bad cop … i think i’m doing my happy soul/sucky soul soon … not nearly as well as your bitch-slapping bitch and the Perky Rose … but a Dawn of the Dead Soul-Off is in the future, friend. Like minded little tarts that we are.
Your hair always looks great … and my dogs will always be cooler than most dogs … You can tie, that’s all i’ll bargain for. Tied dogs.
That made me laugh, Mel! Dawn of the Dead Soul-Off -bring it on! Well, ok, other people’s dogs may be alright, even quite nice..but no dogs will ever reach the lovable magnificence of mine, sorry!
Oh, there’s no winning this … and that’s why you are my mate! grrrrrrrrrr
well I guess I can’t judge until I’ve seen your dog/s…so I’ll wait till my next visit to America and then make the Final Judgement.
Well, now one is in the ground, and one is 15 (at me da’s) and one lives in the city now. How soon can you get here?
Hmmm, not soon enough, I guess – but maybe you’ll have new friends in a while. Sounds awful to speak of a dog’s passing on, as if they were just replaceable – of course they’re not.
God no! I could never replace Harper or Gretchen or Ginger, Pip or Gracie … NEVER. I could love any dog though, if truth be told, but in a unique way. Love shapes itself between any two forces. Me and my New Dog will create our own bond and build THAT special, new relationship. Harper was the dog love of my life … and that is not to say i didn’t love other dogs deeply. So, what does that mean??? Nothing really. I loved all my dogs, and some maybe a wee bit more because they needed ME more perhaps? I can’t tell you how perfect a match Harper was for me. OK, i’m not going down that path. I’m going to start begging, rolling over, and sitting up with “D” for a new dog. Send me dog karma, or better yet, send D, dog karma, if not direct hits! xo
Here’s lots of Dog Karma, D! I know what you mean, sometimes there’s just ‘that’ dog – though you love them all. Coffee is MY special dog – the little brown and white one (not the tiny fluffy one). I love him especially because he’s so clever and not a bit slavish, and kind of maverick and independent. When we’re out on a walk and I let him go off lead, he runs away and he doesn’t even come back for food, because he knows food means leash and leash means home. CLEVER dog!
Harper loved his little run amok adventures too. Truth is, we were usually on busy suburban streets when he’d go romping about! He just loved fun, and he loved me. However, when playing … he thought he was supposed to run, QUICKLY away from me… I am 51 btw, so running quickly away from me, and into traffic was not clever, nor fun. I’m not saying Harp wasn’t smart … but he was so easily amused and so VERY gentle with everyone. HE was not aggressive at all. Just a love, and a big fluffy ball of fur with warts and a goofy body. He was perfection in my eyes and in my heart.
Aren’t they dear, sweet things! They need big meadows and fields to run in, really! We have a golf course – only thing is, Coffee sometimes rounds up strangers and yaps at them. Not a good look, even though he’s just playing. It’s the corgi in him – not aggressive exactly, but excitable and territorial. Oh well! Harper DOES sound perfect, though – here’s to Harper, hopefully running about in dog heaven getting treats and playing run-away games with his friends!
They are brilliant! Corgis i love! Will you link me to the picture of your crew? I’d love to have dog visitors on my FB account. Would that be ok. I’m having a sporadic “Guest Dog” portion on my FB account which i rarely visit except to see pictures of all the cute dogs i love.
Anyway, Yes, the Harpenator is surely begging for treats from me mum, as she could never resist a begging dog. I can’t remember my mom every running, so Harper may have to find other Fabulous dogs to run away from.
You know how dogs go NUTS licking like crazy!? I would put my nose on his nose. He would not flinch. We would sit nose to nose for maybe 10 seconds. Then: One lick. He’d give me one lick. I just loved that dog!!! He didn’t play that game with anyone else. He was a prince. We buried him in D’s back yard behind St. Francis. I planted periwinkles around his spot last weekend.
OK, i’m checking the magic box so i can hear from you … i’m assuming since i’m ever-so-late your tucked in your marvelous bed somewhere down under …
I was. Oh yes, the magic box – that I always forget to UNtick. Never mind. Interviews this morning, two of them! One job that I’d really like, as long as the boss doesn’t turn out to be a cranky old codger. Wish me luck!
BEST OF LUCK. Honey, you have karma stacked up … no codgers in sight! Get that (them there) job/jobs … huh?
Good luck!!! Sending positive karma in heaps, ok?
Thanks! It’s 20 hours a week – so far I’ve worked full time for 18 months and I’d really like to scale down for a while. Little office, research into needs of elderly – it would be just perfect! And they could really use me!
Great opportunity. Then you can continue to write wonderful Rosisms.
Your happiness in the mirror became a mirror image for my own happiness! Or at least in the mirror image that my imagination created…
The Buddha saith ‘Always pick the Right Mirror’! (didn’t he? somewhere?)
Ha – love it when people are so happy they’re oblivious to how grumpy it makes the people around them!
Keep at it!
Thanks! Obviously about 90% of the happiness is down to how miserable it makes everybody else to see me this way – but hey, we all have our funny ways to get kicks!