And while you’re about it, do you mind if the kids call you ‘Father’ instead of Daddy? Because now Steve and I are living together, I’d like the kids to call Steve ‘daddy’ from now on.
“Yes, that’s right, your daughter’s about to have brain surgery. Yes she might die. Yes I’d like you to cover my accommodation while I’m here looking after her. No you can’t visit her. Why not? Because I’m with her, and I’ll have a nervous breakdown if you’re in the same room with me! “
………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
“You gave up your right to be a father/mother when you had that affair! You should’ve thought of THAT when you walked out on me!”
“Look, darling! You want to know why daddy’s clothes are out on the front lawn? Because he’s going to live with another lady now and be a daddy to HER children. Yes that’s right,he doesn’t love US any more.”
“Yes, it’s Daddy here. Daddy really misses his little sweeties! Daddy’s crying EVERY night he doesn’t have his little sweeties with him. Would you like to come and see poor Daddy this weekend? You wouldn’t want to make poor Daddy cry, would you?”
Ok, LISTEN UP, fuckers! (I’m not talking about you, dear) You’re out of bounds. Your heart may be broken but you’re a parent and that means you have to act all grown up even if you aren’t. If it was up to me, you’d have to fill out a pre-nup before you even HAD kids, saying who’s going to get them, for how long, when you break up – and it’d be FINAL (unless there was abuse in the case). Child support would be tied to access, on request from either party. There’d be public information campaigns naming and shaming post-separation emotional abuse of kids. And this time, it’s NOT personal. Play nice!
On a lighter note, here’s some interesting questions from Rose’s Stupendously (sorry I like that word) Karmic Bloggers Award List.
The Way I Live Naturally wants to know What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago? I can tweet! Does that make me a twit or a twat?
A Day in the Life of Me asks, Why do I even bother? After all ‘Right before you die, you’ll realize this whole life was about watching television. And you loved people!’. Oops, no sorry, the other way around. Still it would be funny if….
Altonlocke has a lot to be thankful for. HE says “I’m thankful for the last 16 months of my life, I’m thankful that I had to endure pain, humiliation, being lied to, and being let down time and time again.” Yes, it’s THANK YOUR EX DAY again! All power to you, Altonlocke! (he’s right)
And Minervashail asks “How often do we see highly educated individuals giving up their successful careers in corporate sector for social service?” Probably not very often. Which is why Chhavi Rajawat, MBA, teaches in a village school – and why I’ve decided to donate my stupendous talents to the not-for-profit sector, should they choose to accept them. LUCKY NFPs!
Love and fun, Rose
thank you for the recognition, however, I am a he as opposed to a she.
Are you? A million apologies – I’ll rush to my page right now and make a correction!! And thanks a lot for the inspiration!
Indeed I am…but inspiration is inspiration nonetheless.
Rose, karmic hi five and look out NFP sector, my mate is about to hit you! Sounds like I’ll need to use an even larger spreadsheet.
But I agree with the sentiment and the need for a pre-nuptial, but it’s hard to logical when your head is being run by emotions and hormones. And yep access to children should not be based around the kids as bargaining chips. It should be what’s best for the kids! I don’t mind paying child support as its for my kids benefit (mostly), I can always earn more. What I can never ever get back are those days kicking sand on the beach with my daughter, splashing water in Mr J’s face or seeing a smile unfurl on the lips of Mr B.
Yep, fun and love 2 U 2 Rose!!!
CS
Yeah, well if I can find an NFP that’ll take me…and last long enough to look for a job in one before I need CASH again!
Boy you are a fun … and i have NO idea who you’re talking about, or who you’re talking to!
However, I’m afraid if you were serious you may have lost some karma points. All i know is I laughed. One point for jolliness!
Yeah I know I’m just ranting. This is for all the (mostly men) I’ve talked to whose wives use the kids when they break up. Girls and boys both do it though (not my ex or me). It really shits me.
Well then HI fucking FIVE to ya. Ex’s should get lessons in humanity. That’s an oxyMORON, i’m afraid.
Very funny!
Interesting pic. Is that a big bail of hay behind the humans?
I was wondering about that too. Dunno!
Looks like a family photoshopped in front of a raggedy ripped paper towel or dyed cotton pad…
That’s all they could afford instead of a house, once the courts finished with them!
i use the term humans loosely, course.
Ha ha! xo
Love, LOVE, LOOOVE your post. Even more your usage of stupendously. It’s a word I think should be used more often. But then again if it gains popularity, I am sure it would loose it’s appeal. Keep it up!
Thanks a heap! Yeah let’s keep that word to ourselves (for ourselves!).
I get the whole tra-la. Been there. Done THAT. If it wasn’t for the grandkids, I would cross the street NOT to see him but I’m doing it for the kids. Twenty-five years PLUS and I still *rant* him.
Good post.
Thanks! 25 years – that’s a long time to dislike someone. That’s not a criticism by the way, just hoping I’ve forgotten about the Demon Ex long before that, but then we don’t have kids. The man I do have kids with is nice in his way and I don’t have a problem with him, we do ‘play nice’ and full credit to him for it. I totally understand why the DE’s ex-wife can’t stand to be in the same room with him even in extremis – but I think since there are kids involved she needs to grow up and get some self-control.
Oh, I’m totally civil and the hate thing stopped after about 10 years (yes, I said 10). Now he bugs me because he acts like we’re the best of friends and recently told me he made a BIG mistake blah blah blah. I could go on but will spare you. I guess what bugs me is that he hasn’t grown UP even after this much time.
That’d bug me too. Some men are SO silly!
Thanks for posting a link to my blog… I like the way you write, it’s as if I’m having a conversation with you through your page. Well, more like you’re ranting and I’m amused listening
nodding and thoroughly agreeing. Parent’s need to grow up and stop being so selfish with their choices. Good post Rose!!
Yep, this is totally a rant! It’s my version of Kony – only the evil perpetrators are a lot closer to home.
Fortunately, no kids, and I can’t see divorcing my girl. But if it did happen, the fight would be over the music!
Maybe you’d better do a post-nup on the music then, while you’re still young and in love!
I’m really glad that you put this message out there, Rose. I find it worse than pathetic when either divorced mothers or fathers use their own children to wage war on each other, because so often, it’s the children who suffer severe and heartbreaking collateral damage.
How can anyone possibly say that they really and truly love their kids, if they subject them to this kind of heartbreak, and for the worst of self serving, selfish and cruel reasons. It’s nothing less than child abuse!
On a lighter note… I really like the word “Stupendously” too!
And thank God for the humor in life, and especially in MY life, because the idea of living without it is downright scary.
thank you Chris, you’re stupendous! None of these annoying people is me and my ex, btw – they’re all exes’ exes, or friends’ exes. You’re so right. BAD parents!
Thanks!
I LIKE being called stupendous! Now if you could just call me humongous too, it would really make my day! (kidding!)
I didn’t think it was you and your ex – I read all the previous comments before I added mine, and I saw what you wrote about “all the men you’ve talked to” so I knew where you were coming from.
I wish all divorcing couples will put their kids first and not use them in acrimonious divorces…
I’m finally catching up again on blog posts. Thanks for your patience!
Thanks heaps for dropping by! But really, I don’t mind if you don’t reciprocate – I’m happy just to read interesting blogs like yours, it gives me lots of ideas!
I hate, hate, HATE when divorcing couples involve their kids in the power struggle and act like assheads around each other. My parents still won’t be in the same room. My opinion on it is once you’ve got kids, you’re family. You may decide not to stay married and not to live together, but you have to be able to tolerate each other. It’s no different from the way you tolerate your weird uncle who always rants about politics and religion.
Yeah, totally! You feel like knocking their heads together. You put it so well – you’re family, like it or not.
loved this honest, straightforward post. you really write amazingly well.
loved the little insight in your life
Thanks – not mine really though, in this one. My ex has been very good and so have I! It’s just those OTHER people I’m always hearing about! I think you write very well too!
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