Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings — that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.
Buddha
The Aspiration
Write my sister a story to tell her how great she is.
The Reality
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I have a very beautiful elder sister (actually I have three). Anyway sometimes I think this sister doesn’t realise how very special she is. She’s always running round helping people, babysits more grandchildren than you could beat with sticks, and every time I’ve been in trouble she’s been right there.
Plus this sister of mine is REALLY CLEVER. She listens to Fact Radio and reads Fact Books and remembers lots of important things about what you shouldn’t eat and how the (human) world is coming to an end, which I’d like to know about but don’t have the brains, let alone the stamina.
And what else? Well I used to be quite jealous of this sister, because she could somehow eye a man up at twenty paces and the next thing he’d be sitting next to her – ignoring lissom, intellectual MOI – and buying her drinks and chatting her up like crazy! This woman is petite, cute and an Olympic level flirt! Anyway my beautiful sister, while not being exactly a saint – who is, anyway! – is really lovable and intelligent and unique and the best friend anyone could ever have – so I wrote her a silly story to celebrate.
And here it is.
The Final Miracle of the Blessed Saint Liane
On a wet Sunday morning, Father Brian O’Riley stood at the taxi rank at Sydney Airport, holding a black leather briefcase. He wore a black suit and round black hat: underneath it, his cobalt eyes, lean, handsome features and saturnine expression seemed strangely worldly for one of his profession.
The Archbishop’s driver came hurrying up behind him…….
3 POINTS?
Lest old acquaintance?
Isn’t it funny what coincidence throws up! If I believed in Stuff, I would almost think it was Stuff trying to tell me stuff. Anyway, this is what happened. I was sitting writing my novel, thinking, I haven’t done anything particularly NICE this week, when my mobile rings.
I have this funny effect on a few people. Occasionally I’ll meet/see/sleep with someone, and they will NEVER forget it. It sounds vain to say so but actually I think most other people just have a much better memory than I do. So every now and again one of these people will ring me, out of the blue, and say, “Hello Rose, it’s me! How are you!” as if we only just met last week and were good mates. When in fact, we met a VERY long time ago.
ANYWAY – who should it be on my mobile but one of these people. So we have a little conversation, in which she says ‘I’m feeling very lonely at the moment. How about I come visit you some time (from another city)?’ and I say ‘That’s a lovely suggestion but I’m really busy right now – maybe we could just email for now?’ And I ring off and think,
Ok, Universe. So here I am, going on about how I should try to be nicer to people – so you send me someone – a lonely, friendless person – to be nice to, and AM I nice to her?? Not very.
Well I think about it for a bit and then I think, there was a time (more than one) when I was lonely. I wanted to make friends with someone and THEY decided there wasn’t anything in it for them, so they rejected me. It didn’t feel great. NOW I’m the one who can withhold or reject. So I wrote my acquaintance a friendly email, saying that it was nice that she’d got in touch and that I know how it feels to be lonely. I hope she’ll write back.
I’m now waiting for my OTHER admirer to call. Only I know what he – still – wants, and it’s not an email.
2 POINTS?
Current Points Status: I think I may have reached Cockatoo level. I see a lot of those around at the moment and they have a nice life sitting up in the trees round here and deafening people.
Plus, I’m going well on the Not Thinking Cannibalistic Thoughts About My Ex front. Not from trying, just because – finally – I seem to be losing interest in it. And don’t forget the Cat Lady, Captain Savage!
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Next week, I challenge Captain Savage not to say anything bad about anyone for the WHOLE WEEK. After that, he can let loose, because I wouldn’t wish more than a week’s verbal constipation on anyone!
Brilliant! Funny, and focussed. I’m impressed. Good list: Yes, i tally 5 points for certain. Three for literary genius and Story Dedication to a great sister (btw, NO ONE likes saints .. well maybe those whose job it is to be a saint must grin and bear the perfection of their lot: Don’t know). BTW, the devotion (dedication) to your sis is worth an extra 2 at least … I’ll leave tallying to Capt. Savage.
Love the email to the lonely friend. How sad that she can admit that, and yet so brave. Lord, been there in the lonlies and didn’t have the balls to admit it. It’s not a proud position to be in.
I love Buddha. I can argue with him, and i like that. Mostly i follow as best i can.
Good luck to your mate, CS on not badmouthing anyone for a week. I have cramps just thinking about it.
It’d be even harder for me (not to badmouth anyone)! My friend is not really a friend, that’s the funny thing. I met her once, for coffee, 7 or 8 years ago, and that was it. But she likes me and I don’t dislike her, we just live in different cities and have not much in common. But if I’m going to be nicer, then it can’t just be to people who interest me. And thanks!
I had a lot of coffee friends in OA. We usually had that bond of “food issues”, but as for life, we’d try to connect on something besides meetings. I get it (in some ways) … at least my experience of surface friends.
Yes Mels, I will be trying to avoid badmouthing people all week, I am sure I will end up with a tongue that is scarred for life however…
I’ll match you, if you like. It’ll be VERY hard for me – it’s my only outlet! Only, there’s just one thing I have to say first – you’ll see what it is.
OK Capt. and Rose. I have tongue gurneys at the ready! All cramped and scarred tongues will be repaired!
Well it’s funny you should mention tongues cause they DO come into your story. Btw what colour are your eyes, Mel?
I’m so excited to hear about my tongue … it’s pinkish and covered with coffee (HA) … the eyes, well, they’re brown. YAWN. dark brown. Oh mommy, why couldn’t i have been a REAL blond with REAL blue eyes. IF I CARED!!!! P**S off Elle, Vogue.
Yeah!!
I’m just impressed you’ve made it this long. Good Karma takes committment, I guess.
I’m impressed myself! After Christmas I’m going to heave a big sigh and start being horrible!
This is an excellent post. I like what you’re doing, kudos. =)
Thanks! I’m not just trying to be good, I’m trying to change things – a bit like you I guess, though not in the sexual arena!
Me, too. But the sexual arena is only an aside; I’m trying to get back on an even keel, so to speak.
i’ve always loved that quote
Yeah, if the religions of the world took that one on, the world would be a much better place.
if the religions of the world all fucked off the world would be a better place lol
Odd, because I REALLY don’t remember sleeping with you.
You would if you had! I am HOT, babe!
I’m quite certain that you’re right about that, my dear.
Okay, I don’t know where this comment will put me in the karmic scheme of things, but when you concluded that you have have reached Cockatoo level, and since you are Australian, I immediately thought of a funny and supposedly true story I heard on the radio the other day.
According to the story, in certain parts of Australia, pet owners of parrots, who taught their parrots to swear like sailors, eventually grew tired of their foul mouthed birds, and released them into the wild.
Not only did the parrots do just fine living out in the wild on their own, but they continued loudly repeating their streaks of blue and bad language. Enough so, that the other wild parrots who have never lived in captivity, also learned to swear loudly and frequently after listening the parrots that formerly lived with people.
So now when biologists, bird watchers, or anyone else goes into these wild places, they are greeted by entire flocks of very obscene and loud parrots shouting out lots of shocking profanity. And that is some hiking that I would just love to do, because I know that as soon as I heard all these dirty birds swearing loudly out in the wild, I’d fall down on the trail in a fit of laughter! LOL
So I’m guessing that I’m now at cockroach level??? Lol
I don’t know, but if it happened I’d fall about laughing too! I hope it does, and that I come across one of these flocks of swearing parrots! Or better yet, that they swear outside my back verandah in the evening. Normally the neighbours do that, so if the parrots started, it’d probably shut them up.
Lol – A quick story… but not nearly as good as flocks of swearing parrots.
My wife and I spent an unplanned overnight in a Hawaiian jungle in 2002 because our hike ran very late, and after nightfall. We both had flashlights, but one fell off a ridge, and soon after that, the other one burned out.
So now in near total darkness we could no longer find the trail, and we spent much of the night waiting for the light of dawn.
A peculiar thing about the jungles in Hawaii, is that lots of formerly domestic chickens that have escaped and gone wild, live out in the jungle.
So for hours during the night, we listened to roosters crowing… out in the middle of a jungle. It was very strange and if we hadn’t been so tired and uncomfortable, it would have been quite comical to hear the crowing of the Wild Hawaiian Jungle Rooster.
And that commonly held belief about roosters crowing at dawn is very misleading. Because the truth about roosters, is that they crow at any hour that suits them – all day and all night long.
You and your wife have had a very exciting life. I can totally see why she married you! (and you her). Yes, roosters are like men – they crow ANY time!
Thanks! I think that she married me because she wanted both a husband and an adventure guide. There was a certain weekend back in the day, that I learned this was definitely part of my job description, as far as she was concerned, and nothing less was expected.
I had mentioned that we should go trail camping, but then I changed my mind when I felt like being lazy and lounging around the house for a couple days.
But she angrily chased me into action, to come up with a plan for a new route for trail hiking and camping in the wilderness, and she berated me to hurry up and get all our gear in order so we could get going!
I was somewhat irritated with her for this, but I soon got over it. Since I knew that I married her, because I’d never before met a woman with such passion for adventure, and enough so, to be willing to suffer a significant degree of hardship, if it was required to make the adventure happen.
And yes, roosters are like men, and it logically follows that men are like roosters, because both roosters and men will crow any time and quite often. And often when THIS man does his crowing, well he calls it blogging! Lol
Very funny, Chris! That’s what women are for, to make men’s lives uncomfortable (and adventurous, of course).
While it’s funny, I think that it is also true. Because when a guy gets too comfortable, his drive for adventure may end up a casualty as a result. And even to this day, I know that my wife is not going to let that happen. Even if at times it can be annoying, it’s still a good thing.
Not having cannibalistic thoughts is a good start! As always your posts are a combination of meaningful, endearing, touch of sadness and a big dash of humour, a perfect recipe
Thanks Ruthbug! That’s a really nice thing to say!
I’m at the paramecium level of karma. My ambition it to make it up to sewer rat but I’m not going to push myself too hard.
Well, why should you? Sewer rats probably have a great time, lots of sewers, plenty of company! Funny how people feel about rats,when you think of it.
you are a wonderful writer. loved the quote you included in the beginning, its very beautiful and i follow that quote even before knowing it.
Thank you Sharmishtha, the feeling is reciprocated. It IS a good quote, too!
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